Midnight 'Movie' Madness

2004-01-14T15:56:00.000-06:00

All right. I think I am done with the blog. I just don't really feel like doing it anymore. Not that anyone really reads this prattle anyway. So, good luck and as Bugs Bunny would say, "Bon Voi agee!"

2004-01-09T20:55:00.000-06:00

This will be the last French film I will do for a while.

Delicatessen
Release Date: 1991
Rated: R (There is violence, sexual situations, and language... Excuse my French)

Plot: In a post apocalyptic France meat is hard to come by. One building has a plan though. Put an add in a city newspaper for a position of maintenance for the building. Once he arrives, have him do some work, and then chop him up and feed on him for a few weeks. Can't get more European than that can we? This sounds like it should have been a German film. Score = 10

Acting: Dominique Pinon, Marie-Laure Dougnac, Jean-Claude Dreyfus, Karin Viard, Ticky Holgado, Anne-Marie Pisani, and Rufus. As I have said before, I love when a filmmaker uses a lot of the same talent in different movies. If anyone has been reading these last few reviews, they can surely see that Jeunet uses Pinon, Dreyfus, and Rufus a great deal, and for good reason. Pinon and Dreyfus are especially good. This whole cast makes this movie quite enjoyable. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: This soundtrack is ok. Not nearly as good as Amelie's though. Jeunet does use sound really well in his films though, and this movie has a great scene utilizing the sounds of "lovemaking." Sound vulgar, and I guess really it is, but it is also quite funny. Score = 6

Catch Phrase: My favorite scene is the one described above, but anytime the little boys get in on the action, the results are usually quite entertaining. Again, due to the language barrier on my part, I am giving Delicatessen a somewhat respectable score. I feel almost certain that it would have a higher score if I knew French though. Score = 6

Mystique: Jeunet is a genius. I love the way his movies feel. They are dark, humorous, and at the same time somewhat hopeful. He cleverly uses what could be props to illustrate the casts in not only this movie, but also in Amelie. I love it. Score = 10

Total: 42 or 84% This film got hosed due to language. It would probably be a 94% if it were in English originally, or if I could comprehend French.

2004-01-07T13:55:00.000-06:00

Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain or Amelie
Release Date: 2001
Rated: Rated R for sexual content and nudity

Plot: A strange young women is looking for romance, and goes about it in interesting ways. Jeunet and his scripts are amazingly unique. Score = 10

Acting: Audrey Tautou, Mathieu Kassovitz, Rufus, Lorella Cravotta, Serge Merlin, Jamel Debbouze, Clotilde Mollet, Claire Maurier, Isabelle Nanty, and Dominique Pinon. There are others, but I doubt anyone in the U.S. would know em. Dominique Pinon is the best, and Audrey Tautou ain't too shabby either. Score = 10.

Score/Soundtrack: This soundtrack isn't as good as He Loves Me... as it isn't integrated into the story, but it certainly helps keep the mood throughout the film. Score = 8

Catch Phrase: I think my favorite scene is the one when Amelie unplugs the antenna while her jerk neighbor is watching a big soccer game. That is pretty funny, but alas I again have no real catch phrase line. I really hate penalizing these French films for that reason, so I have been compromising a bit in still giving them a 6. Score = 6

Mystique: Tautou certainly has a charm about her, and Jeunet's films are always entertaining. At least so far as I have seen. If you like either, then check it out. Of course, if you don't watch foreign films you're probably not familiar with either. Amelie wouldn't be a bad choice for your first foray into French films. This movie was nominated for several Oscars, but as we all know that doesn't necessarily mean the film is any good. In this case, it is. Score = 9

Total: 43/50 or 86% At first I thought, now wait that doesn't seem right. I liked Amelie more than He Loves Me..., but upon further review, I think I actually like He Loves Me... more than Amelie now. Both good films though. You should check em out.

2004-01-06T13:47:00.000-06:00

À la folie... pas du tout or He Loves Me... He loves Me Not
Release Date: 2002
Rated: PG-13 for thematic elements and some obsessive behavior

Plot: This movie has some surprise story elements, so I don't want to give away anything if you actually plan on seeing it in the future which I would recommend. Suffice it to say that a young woman falls in love with a man, and struggles with his constant changing of attitudes towards her. This doesn't sound like much, but the aforementioned plot twist and the method in which it is shown merits a high score. Score = 10

Acting: Audrey Tautou, Samuel Le Bihan, Isabelle Carré, Clément Sibony, Sophie Guillemin, Eric Savin, Michèle Garay, and Elodie Navarre. It is likely that the only face or name of this cast thatrecognizableable to American audiences is that of Audrey Tautou who received much attention for her role in Amelie. She plays a different type of character in this film, but there are parallels. The rest of the cast was pretty solid. I have no complaints, and Le Bihan was actually quite good. Just think of all the fine actors world wide that we have no inkling of here in the States. Kind of a shame really. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: They use the Nat King Cole song "L.O.V.E." with great effect in the movie. In fact, it helps push the plot evolution along. I love when music and story are intermixed and woven together with skill, and this is a prime example of it. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: "I have no one." Again, an important line used in regards to the plot, but on it's own not too impressive. Taking a catch phrase from a foreign film is a tad harder due to translation changes, and because we don't have the added bonus of actually hearing the line. That reminds me. If you are going to watch foreign films, PLEASE watch them with the original audio tracks, and use subtitles. They are a little annoying at first, but you quickly adapt to them. If you don't, then you lose a great deal of the movie's character, and get no idea of the acting ability of the cast as much is shown in voice. Score = 6

Mystique: For the first 30 minutes or so of this movie, I thought, "Yeah, ok, this is kind of boring," but the movie did a nice job of stopping, and showing the previous events from another person's perspectives, and really helped the viewer see what was really happening. It was a brilliant idea to show the flaws in human perception, and was done in a way which lent itself well to cinema. Score = 10

Total: 46/50 or 92% I really like this movie more and more as I think about it. It also doesn't hurt that there are several attractive women in the cast, and they all keep their clothes on. Leaves more to the imagination that way. Hehe.

2004-01-05T14:56:00.000-06:00

La Cité des enfants perdus or The City of Lost Children
Release Date: 1995
Rated: R for disturbing and grotesque images of violence and menace and nudity

Plot: A psycho genius kidnaps small children in a tripped out world in an effort to help him dream. One of the children is a small boy that was cared for by a very strong, but not so intelligent man, who stops at nothing to try and rescue him. Meanwhile he finds an orphan girl who helps him in his crusade. Certainly different. Score = 10

Acting: Ron Perlman, Daniel Emilfork, Judith Vittet, Dominique Pinon, Jean-Claude Dreyfus, GeneviÃ¨ve Brunet, Odile Mallet, Mireille MossÃ©, Serge Merlin, Rufus, and Joseph Lucien. Judith Vittet steals the show. She was only 8 or 9 during the shooting of this film. Ron Perlman is also good. That man must never sleep, because he is in a ton of stuff. Dominique Pinon and Jean-Claude Dreyfus are also good. Actually, Pinon is awesome. It would be sweet if he could cross over into American cinema. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: The trippy soundtrack really adds to the demented world that Jean-Pierre Jeunet has created in this movie. This movie is strange to say the least, but the music helps it feel more real. Score = 9

Catch Phrase: Well, it is in French translationion is subject to alteration of course. One of the best scenes is when one character, Uncle Irwin, decieves Krunk into thinking that a one of Krunk's tears could be analyzed to help him find a way to dream, but he then just crushes his hopes. It's a good put down. There are tons of witty lines, but they lose a great deal out of context. Score = 6

Mystique: Well, it is a French film, and a Jean-Pierre Jeunet film at that. The man is a genius though from what I have seen so far. I have only seen Delicatessen and The City of Lost Children so far, but I am impressed. I like directors who use a lot of the same actors in all of their films. It helps add a comaraderie that you just don't get in patched together casts. This movie is a tripped up futuristic or fantasy world. Everything is grimy and disgusting, and yet at the same time oddly beautiful. They made a video game based upon this movie which is apparently a pretty solid game. I am always impressed with movies that have skilled young actors in it, and Vittet is right up there. It is a shame that she hasn't done much since. If you like French films, or like expanding your cinematic palette, or if you liked sci-fi-esque themes, then certainly check this film out. Not everyone will like it, but if you liked The Royal Tenenbaums or Rushmore, you might like this Jeunet's style as well. Score = 9

Total: 44/50 or 88% Jeunet is fast becoming one of my favorite filmmakers.

2004-01-04T13:31:00.000-06:00

The Legend of Bagger Vance
Release Date: 2000
Rated: PG-13 for some sexual content

Plot: A young woman inherits a failing golf course during the Depression, and in an effort to raise enough money to keep it, she decides to hold a playoff between the two best golfers in the United States. The powers that be in the town of Savannah, GA, also think that a local player should play to represent the area. A former boyfriend of the woman, and a local golfing legend is chosen to play, but in order for him to compete he must first regain his swing. Score = 9

Acting: Will Smith, Matt Damon, Charlize Theron, Bruce McGill, Joel Gretsch, J. Michael Moncrief, and Jack Lemmon. The supporting cast is quite good. I really think the young boy, Moncrief, did an admirable job. I am not a huge fan of Theron or of Smith, and their respective performances in this movie did nothing to improve upon that situation. Matt Damon, however, continues to put forth good performances. Score = 9

Score/Soundtrack: An adequate soundtrack at best. It uses a little bit of Duke Ellington, and similar styles to try and capture the feel of the late twenties and early thirties, but really the soundtrack lacks much involvement in the film. Score = 4

Catch Phrase: Ahh crap, I forgot the line I was going to use. Something like, "Everyone has a natural swing within," or something like that. I like the tagline of the movie better though, "Some Things Can't Be Learned. They Must Be Remembered." I find that to be an interesting idea, and so I will substitute it in place of an actual line. Score = 9

Mystique: My main complaint of this movie is that Will Smith was just kind of there, and didn't really do much. Admittedly, I think most of that was by nature of the script and possibly directorial discretion, but he came off as annoying to me more than anything. Matt Damon's performance was much better, and Theron was ok I guess, but nothing inspiring. So, if you like Damon, or you like to look at Theron, or if you like golf, then you might give this movie a try. It is PG-13, and really not too bad a movie. I think one in which the whole family could watch without too much concern on the parent's part. All in all, a good film, and perhaps the best golfing movie yet. Nah, Happy Gilmore still owns! Score = 9

Total: 40/50 or 80% That score may be a tad low, but not quite an 'A' movie either.

2004-01-03T14:46:00.001-06:00

I will try and be more regular with my posts now. That should last for a few days consecutively anyway.

2004-01-03T14:46:00.000-06:00

No Good Deed
Release Date: 2002
Rated: R for violence, language and sexuality

Plot: A grand theft auto cop gets involved in a bank robbing scheme that quickly escalates to homicidal levels. Score = 7

Acting: Samuel L. Jackson, Milla Jovovich, Stellan Skarsgård, Doug Hutchison, Grace Zabriskie, Joss Ackland, and Jonathan Higgins. A mediocre cast at best. This film would have been greatly improved if the main villain, Skarsgård, would have been someone better suited for the part. I just wasn't feeling Skarsgård. Jovovich, Jackson, Zabriskie, and Ackland all did ok, but no one turned in an Oscar performance. Score = 7

Score/Soundtrack: Nothing but the standard back drop themes for an action/drama. Score = 2

Catch Phrase: I know that Jackson had a couple of nice lines, but I can't remember em. I also remember that they weren't that great, just kind of nice. Score = 4

Mystique: Samuel L. Jackson was wasted on this film. It was fairly predictable, but I really didn't find myself trying to figure much out. I think that was due to a combination of force fed foreshadowing, weak acting, and an run of the mill script. A better villain, and an engaging soundtrack could have overcome the shortcomings of the script, but alas neither was properly implemented. If you are bored and this film is on FX or something, go ahead and watch away. I wouldn't recommend renting it though. Score = 6

Total: 26/50 or 52% Not the worst movie I have ever seen, but not real good either. It was ok.

2003-12-30T13:09:00.000-06:00

Dumb & Dumber
Release Date: 1994
Rated: PG-13

Plot: Two pathetic friends set out on a cross country adventure just to return a suitcase they thought was mistakenly left behind by an attractive acquaintance. It turns out that the suitcase contained money for a ransom, and the boys become entangled in the mess that ensues. Score = 8

Acting: Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, Lauren Holly, Mike Starr, Karen Duffy, Victoria Rowell, Teri Garr, Harland Williams, Cam Neely, Charles Rocket, and Fred Stoller. I had no idea Cam Neely was Sea Bass. I didn't even think about it. That is awesome. I love Carrey. He is one of my favorite actors right now, but in fairness, I think Jeff Daniels is the one that really makes the movie what it is. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: "Boom Shak-A-Lak" from Apache Indian, and some Crash Test Dummies. Beyond that, there isn't really that much. Score = 5

Catch Phrase: I was always partial to the scene in which Daniels' leg catches fire, and he yells, "Just give me the number!" Plus, "Yeah, this is the rockies." "Tell her about my rapist wit," and my favorite, "Kick his ass Sea Bass!"

Wav files courtesy of http://www.moviesounds.co.uk/dumb.html : "Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her enough or something I don't know I really wasn't paying attention." "I expected the Rocky mountains to be a little rockier than this." "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver is full of shit man." "We're really doing it though aren't we buddy!" "Man, you are one pathetic loser." "Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow, and dangerous behind the wheel can still serve a purpose. Now don't you go dying on me!" Score = 10

Mystique: A Jim Carrey movie, and oft considered one of his funniest ones. Again, I really think that the Jeff Daniels plays a major part in this movie being a good one. We all know Carrey is funny, but the Carrey/Daniels combination is really funny. Score = 10

Total: 43/50 or 86% This film is full of laughs. If you have been living under a rock, and haven't yet seen it, then you better check it out.

2003-12-24T10:50:00.000-06:00

Christmas Vacation
Release Date: 1989
Rated: PG-13

Plot: Clark Griswold and family return with their zany adventures during the holiday seasons, and chaos reigns. Score = 9

Acting: Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Juliette Lewis, Johnny Galecki, John Randolph, Diane Ladd, E.G. Marshall, Doris Roberts, Randy Quaid, William Hickey, Mae Questel, Sam McMurray, Nicholas Guest, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Brian Doyle-Murray, Natalia Nogulich, and Doug Llewelyn. Great cast. The extended family brings a lot to the movie. You got to love the revolving set of kids in these movies. They had new kids each film. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Yet more classic Christmas songs. Can't really go wrong in a Christmas themed movie. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: "If any of you are looking for any last minute gift ideas. I have one...." "Its the gift that keeps on giving the whole year." Wavs compliments of http://bubba.org/?option=nlcv .

"He's cute ain't he? Only problem is, he's got a little bit a Mississippi Leg Hound in him. If the mood catches him rite, he'll grab your leg and just go to town. You don't want him around if your wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. Word of warning though, if he does lay into ya, it's best to just let him finish." Todd: "Where do you think your gonna put a tree that big?" Clark W. Griswold: Bend over and I'll show ya." Wavs compliments of http://www.reelwavs.com/movies/christmas_vacation/ .

Score = 8

Mystique: A Christmas classic right up there with "A Christmas Story," and "It's a Wonderful Life." I am kind of surprised its only rated PG-13 though, as the language can be nasty at times. Oh well, still a friggin hilarious film. You got to watch it at least once a year, and it continues in the excellence of film that the 80s so rightly deserve. Score = 10

Total: 47/50 or 94%

2003-12-23T21:02:00.000-06:00

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Release Date: 2003
Rated: PG-13 for action/adventure violence

Plot: A ship of pirates is cursed after stealing some Aztec gold. They must retrieve all of the gold to lift their curse, and meanwhile a former captain of their's is trying to get his ship back from them. Along the way, a young man and woman fall in love against all odds. You know, the typical piratey thing. Score = 8

Acting: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport, Jonathan Pryce, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Crook, Isaac C. Singleton Jr., Martin Klebba, and Zoe Saldana. All in all, a pretty solid cast. Johnny Depp was awesome, and Keira Knightley... uh huh. Score = 10.

Score/Soundtrack: Klaus Badelt's soundtrack is fairly engaging, and serves the movie well, but certainly isn't a total masterpiece. Score = 8

Catch Phrase: "She's safe just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington just like she promised. And you get to die for it, just like you promised. So we're all men of our words, really, except for Elizabeth who is, in fact, a woman." "Me I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly." "Savvy?" "Parley." Johnny Depp is awesome in this role, and has tons of awesome lines. Score = 10

Mystique: A pirate movie. Come on what more do you want? Ok, how about a charming leading lady? A couple of attractive leading men? A solid bad guy? A monkey? A friggin midget?!? This movie has all of that and some nice animation work on the undead. Another fine PG-13 film. Score = 10

Total: 46/50 or 92% Great action, great lines, and a charming leading lady. Got me hooked. Watch it. Savvy?

2003-12-22T12:42:00.000-06:00

I am pissed. I just typed up a nice long review of The Return of the Kings, went to publish it, and bam.... lost the wireless connection.

Here is a severely abridged version, as I really don't feel like redoing it all.

Plot: It concludes the Tolkien trilogy which is the basis of all fantasy stories today. Score = 10

Acting: The cast is done to perfection, and if the casting director did not receive an Oscar yet, they should. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Howard Shore again is superb in his abilities to make great music, and the editing and integration of the music with film is perfect. Pippin sings a song during one scene that really raises the whole scene to the next level from merely good to down right compelling. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: I had one from Sam talking to Frodo, but screw it. I am pissed. The best line in my opinion, although there are many good ones, comes in form of song in the aforementioned scene involving Pippin and Denethor. Score = 10

Mystique: Just check the sales of this film. Tolkien fans have been dreaming of live action versions of the books for years, but always feared a lackluster picture. Peter Jackson, a fan himself, does not screw these up at all. In fact, the story telling of the movie exceeds the admittedly flawed storytelling ability of Tolkien. I loved the books, but the movies are far more exciting and accessible. Score = 10

Total: 50/50 or 100% A fantastic film. The best of the three, and that is saying something.

2003-12-20T12:07:00.000-06:00

Brigham City
Release Date: 2001
Rated: PG-13 for violence and thematic material

Plot: A quiet Utah town becomes the home to a serial killer in action. Can the local sheriff figure out who the killer is before any more murders occur? A great deal of the plot depends upon the fact that the majority of the town and the suspects are Mormons. For that reason, it brings a unique element which I haven't really seen done in movies before. Fortunately for me, as I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or as most people call us, Mormon, this film was made by a Mormon and doesn't slander the Church in any way. Score = 8

Acting: This is another otherwise decent film plagued by the curse that is independent filmmaking. The acting is ok, but nothing extraordinary. The only "known" actor is Wilford Brimley, although the director, Richard Dutcher, also stars. I think that's usually a bad idea to direct and star. Being a supporting role is one thing, but not starring. Score = 6

Score/Soundtrack: Again, no budget, no music. Score = 1

Catch Phrase: Nothing truly profound in the script that is summed up in just one line. I do like the tagline of the movie though, "Nothing attracts a Serpent like a paradise." I would hardly call Utah paradise, but whatever. Score = 4

Mystique: If you are LDS, or a Mormon for the uninitiated, then you might want to check this film out. It is the best film I have yet seen from an LDS director making a specifically LDS themed film. If you like murder mysteries, and don't mine the drawbacks that independent, and or, low budget filmmaking has, then you might want to give this movie a look too. It really isn't that bad a film. I enjoyed it, and not just because I am LDS. In fact, I am constantly irritated at the lack of quality put up by LDS filmmakers in general, but this is a movie for which I would actually buy the DVD to support the filmmakers efforts. Score = 7

Total: 26/50 or 52% Wow, from that score you wouldn't have thought I actually liked this movie. I wish films like these would get the backing of studio money rather than the majority of films that are produced with big money that end up just being rehashed tripe.

2003-12-19T18:59:00.000-06:00

High Strung
Release Date: 1994
Rated: PG

Plot: The movie has a simple plot. A man complains about everything under the sun, and does so without ever leaving his apartment. Eventually, Death comes to take him away, but even he is annoyed by the constant complaints. This guy is a perfect portrayal of me. Score = 9

Acting: Steve Oedekerk, Thomas F. Wilson, Denise Crosby, Fred Willard, Jani Lane (lead singer of Warrant), Kirsten Dunst, and Jim Carrey. I always thought Thomas F. Wilson was a funny guy, and am surprised that we don't see him more often. Jim Carrey is funny, and Steve Oedekerk is about as good as anyone when it comes to playing maniacs, and I love his style of comedy. Honestly, the extremely low budget detracts from this movie. I would love to see this movie remade with the same key people involved. Score = 9

Score/Soundtrack: Yeah, remember how I mentioned a low budget before? No budget, no soundtrack. Nothing good anyway. Score = 1

Catch Phrase: "I wish I were dead." Not much of a line eh? In reality though, that line drives what little plot there is. This movie is full of great scenes though. It is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. I want a copy of it so bad. I looked online, and I finally found a copy to download.... in CZECH! Or some other Slavic language. Man, I was pissed. You can see several short scenes from the movie at http://steveoedekerk.com/OClips/Movies/filmclips.htm . Just scroll to the bottom of the page. Unfortunately, most of the scenes they show aren't really the best ones. The game show is kind of nice, and you get a better idea about the film by watching the promo, but my favorite scene isn't shown there. It is the opening scene in which he goes on a tirade about the annoyance eating cereal can be. You always end up with too much milk, or too much cereal. You never end up with just the right amount. Score = 9

Mystique: You will know after the first few minutes whether or not you will enjoy this film. I friggin love it, but then again I am also a psycho. If you liked Kung Pow, try this one out. Carrey has a small role, and it's early in his career so don't expect too much from him. This movie is fast becoming a cult classic, and I really wish that they'd remake it or at least put it out on DVD. Score = 10

Total: 38/50 or 76% I really like this movie a whole heck of a lot more than this, but as far as actual movie quality goes, it is pretty low. Watch it anyway.

2003-12-18T16:29:00.000-06:00

Bad Santa
Release Date: 2003
Rated: R for pervasive language, strong sexual content and some violence

Plot: A drunken man and his diminutive friend secure jobs at malls as Santa and an elf. Once there, they develop a plan to rob the mall Christmas Eve. The do this for several years, and eventually the Santa begins to rethink his life. Similar to many movies in that a bad guy rethinks his situation, but this movie is certainly unique. Score = 8

Acting: Billy Bob Thornton, Tony Cox, Brett Kelly, Lauren Graham, Lauren Tom, Bernie Mac, and the late John Ritter. It almost pains me to say that I am really starting to like Billy Bob Thornton. I am not sure why... on either count. Brett Kelly, the kid, really adds a lot to this film. I personally think that any movie with a midget (yeah I know that term is offensive, but so am I) has a head up on other movies. Not literally of course. Midgets just rock. This is Ritter's last movie. I was never a huge fan, but I always found him entertaining. He was quite funny in this role. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Another soundtrack filled with Christmas songs. Can't go wrong there. Plus, The Mormon Tabernacle Choir is used in the soundtrack. Haha. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir is used in a Rated R movie. Talk about ironic. I would like to see a movie use nothing but Christmas music, ye have nothing to do with Christmas or winter. That would be interesting. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: Ah man. I know there were a couple of really funny lines, but I am really drowsy right now, and can't think of one. Haha, one of my favorite parts though is when Santa beats up like a 14 year old kid. Great stuff. Unfortunately, no line, no good score. Score = 1

Mystique: This is certainly a fairly dark movie. I think you can draw some philosophical or religious themes out too. It had some great comedic moments, some interesting plot developments, and overall was a pretty interesting movie. It is rated R for good reason. Incessant cursing and some violence don't bother me quite as much as the sexual content. Although some of the references to this sexual content are quite funny. That's when John Ritter gets involved more. Not a Christmas classic, but if you like dark movies, then go ahead and give this one a whirl. Score = 8

Total: 37/50 or 74% The insanely low score of the catch phrase is really dragging this movie down a tad too much. I would prolly put it in the high 80s or low 90s if I could just remember a bloody phrase.

2003-12-17T09:02:00.000-06:00

Elf
Release Date: 2003
Rated: PG for some mild rude humor and language

Plot: A young human boy sneaks into Santa's bag while Santa is at an orphanage. I he raised by an elf, and assumes that he too is an elf. Eventually he is told of his origins, and he goes to New York City to find his biological dad. While there, he falls in love, and saves Christmas. It's a movie designed for the whole family so you can't expect too much. Score = 9

Acting: Will Ferrell, James Caan, Bob Newhart, Edward Asner, Mary Steenburgen, Zooey Deschanel, Andy Richter, Kyle Gass, Artie Lange, Jon Favreau, and Faizon Love. Ferrell was good, and I am really beginning to like Deschanel. She has a smooth singing voice too, and that is saying something from me, because I usually tend to dislike female singing voices with rare exception. The only problem I have with the cast is with James Caan. I don't have anything Caan, but he just isn't likeable in this part. Not even when his character decides to buck the system and become a family man. James Woods would have been a better cast for the role. Score = 9

Score/Soundtrack: It's a Christmas movie... thus Christmas music. Which, around Christmas, isn't a bad thing. As previously mentioned, I really dig Deschanel's voice, and for that reason alone I am granting the coveted max score. Score = 10

Catch/Phrase: Oh poo, I can't remember it. It's a rhyme they say like three times in the film. Something like "The best way to spread Christmas cheer, is to sing so that all the world can hear." Something like that. I like the sentiment. Score = 8

Mystique: Yet another decent PG film, and a Christmas one at that. Sure to get TV time in the future around the holiday season. Is it a great film? No, but it is enjoyable, and certainly tolerable if you are a parent and have to watch those same lame movies over and over because your kids are too afraid or unwilling to watch anything new. Plus, it's PG. I like to see solid PG films. I would love to see more directors, studios, and actors trying to make solid PG films. It would be a nice change of pace. Score = 9

Total: 45/50 or 90% If you have nieces and/or nephews, if you like a "feel-good" movie now and then, if you like Christmas movies, or if you like Will Ferrell, then I recommend at least giving this film a try. The run time is only 96 minutes, so it's not like sitting through "The Longest Day" (good film by the way) or anything like that.

2003-12-16T13:19:00.000-06:00

The Four Feathers
Release Date: 2002
Rated: PG-13 for intense battle sequences, disturbing images, violence and some sensuality

Plot: Set during the 1870s, an English officer resigns his commission when he learns that his regiment is to be sent to battle in the Sudan. Three of his friends, and his fiance each give him a single white feather marking him as a coward. He is completely forsaken by all, save his best friend, but he stays away from even him. He then decides that he must too travel to the Sudan and do everything he can to protect his friends.

Once there, he is befriended by an African and together they do everything they can to keep his friends safe. Eventually one friend is killed in battle, another returns to England with honor, one is held in an African prison, and his best friend is blinded permanently by a misfired rifle. The forsaken man allows himself to be captured so that he can free his imprisoned friend, which he is able to do with a great deal of help from his African friend. They both return to England, where his blind best friend is now engaged to his former fiance. His best friend, one of only two truly noble people in the movie, decides to remove himself from the engagement thus allowing his friend and his former fiance to wed.

I like the fact that the main character tries everything to redeem himself. I like the fact his best friend stuck by him at all times, and always conducted himself with dignity and honor. I like the African friend and his willingness to help his English friend even though at times he acts foolishly. What I don't like, is the wishy-washy fiance. Pick a guy, and stick with him. I hate how the movie ends that way. I would have rather had a tragic ending. One in which the forsaken man returns to England after redeeming himself, and yet is still unable to marry the women that he loves. It just irks me. Score = 5

Acting: Heath Ledger, Djimon Hounsou, Kate Hudson, and Wes Bentley. There were of course actors, but these are the only truly noteworthy mentions, and that isn't a good thing necessarily. Ledger had moments, but I think the script just held him back. He was good with the part he was given, but that part just wasn't that great to begin with. Hudson is slightly different. Not only was she given a weak part, but her acting was lackluster too. Just get an Englishwomen to play an Englishwomen. I was too busy thinking that her accent wasn't that great while watching her. Wes Bentley, on the other hand, had me fooled. He had the uptight and proper Englishmen down. I wouldn't have guessed he was from Arkansas. Hounsou was excellent as the African friend, and man he is friggin huge. The other bit characters were stale and predictable giving the overall acting a diminished score. Score = 7

Score/Soundtrack: I like the occasional eastern song, but having a whole soundtrack laden with it just about drove me bonkers. Score = 3

Catch Phrase: I can't quite recall a good line. I remember a discussion between Ledger and Hounsou in which Hounsou states that he is helping Ledger because God put him before his path or something like that. So, I guess that could pass as a catch phrase, but obviously not a great one as I can't recall the wording. That is especially bad considering that I just watched the film yesterday. Score = 4

Mystique: If you like long, drawn out, and boring films, then you hit the jackpot with this film. Throw in a poor script, oft times bad acting from the leads, and a stale secondary cast, and you have yourself a classic. Score = 1

Total: 20/50 or 40% This score might be lower than White Oleander, but please don't be fooled. White Oleander was worse.

2003-12-15T11:37:00.000-06:00

Well, the Adam Sandler reviews are over. Now on to the fresh meat.

Mystery Men
Release Date: 1999
Rated: PG-13 for comic action violence and crude humor

Plot: A group of wannabe super heroes tries anything to create their niche in the balance between good and evil. When the city's chief crime fighter is killed, will they be able to rise to the challenge? This movie idea was adapted from a comic book idea detailing poser super heroes. I like the premise. Score = 9

Acting: Hank Azaria, Claire Forlani, Janeane Garofalo, Greg Kinnear, William H. Macy, Kel Mitchell, Lena Olin, Paul Reubens, Geoffrey Rush, Ben Stiller, Wes Studi, Tom Waits, Eddie Izzard, Artie Lange, Louise Lasser, and Luis GuzmÃ¡n. I absolutely love this cast. I named one of my online gaming aliases after the actor Wes Studi (MMM_Westudi). Eddie Izzard is quite simply one of the funniest people on the planet, and I really hope that Tom Baker's rumor will become a valid prediction and that Izzard will be the next Doctor Who. I am really starting to dig Tom Waits' music, and I enjoy his role in this film. Oh yeah, Ben Stiller, William H. Macy, Kinear, Rush, Garofalo, Azaria, and the rest of the people are pretty good too. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: The thing that pisses me off about this soundtrack is that Smash Mouth are a bunch of peckers. They didn't want their song to be associated with the film because they were afraid the film would flop (which it did, but that is besides the point). If your concern is about whether or not a movie will flop, don't whore your music out for soundtracks. Other than the aforementioned jerkstores, the soundtrack is mostly some generic, comic book themed movie, fluff (Does that even qualify as a sentence? I suppose if I hadn't mentioned anything about it it would have worked well enough on the internet and its lacking of grammatical excellence.) Score = 2

Catch Phrase: NOTE: To hear these wav files, right click on the link, and select 'save as.'

"Don't mess with a volcano my man, cause I will go Pompei on your.. butt." "I will keep dreaming, I will keep dreaming my friend, and when I wake up.. you better hope you're asleep." "But I didn't, I only knew that you'd know that I knew. Did you know that?" "It's really quite cool." "He's either very smart or very dumb." "Do yourself a favor and don't punch my clock, because I am a Pantera's box you do not wanna open." "He who questions training, only trains himself at asking questions." "Patience my son. To summon your powers for the conflict to come, you must first have power over that which conflicts you." "I don't need a compass to tell me which way the wind shines." "Are you ready? Then let operation Three-eyed, Three-legged Eagle begin." "You dress in the manor of a male prostitute." "We struck down evil with the mighty sword of teamwork and the hammer of not bickering." "We are number one! All others are number two or lower." Wes Studi is the friggin man. Score = 10

Mystique: I love the fact that they spoofed those crappy comic book movies. They all sucked up till the time this movie was made, but Spiderman was a pretty solid effort. I remember when two of my brothers and I went to see this movie in the theatre. Including the three of us, there were 7 people in the theatre. I think I recall reading that this movie cost $60 million, but didn't even gross $30 million at the box office. Even with that being the case, however, the DVD sold remarkably well. This movie really has the potential to be a cult classic, but it certainly hasn't garnered such a favored position in Hollywood's ranks yet. Score = 7

Total: 38/50 or 76% This low score isn't truly indicative of my feelings for this film. I love this movie. It was one of the first movies I bought on DVD. I couldn't recommend with any morevigilancee than I now am, that you watch this film, then you buy this film on DVD, and then you continue to watch this film over and over again until you know by heart the silly lines that compose its grandiose design.

2003-12-12T11:41:00.000-06:00

Mr. Deeds
Release Date: 2002
Rated: PG-13 for language including sexual references, and some rear nudity

Plot: A simple, honest, and good-hearted man is discovered to be the single heir of a media billionaire's empire. After bringing him to the city, he falls in love with a woman that turns out to be an investigative reporter who is merely trying to get an inside story. By the end, however, she genuinely falls in love with him. Is it too late?

Somehow, this seems a more plausible story when it was originally done by Capra in Mr. Deeds Goes to Town. Unfortunately the original sucked bad. Which is really hard to believe, because not only was it directed by my favorite movie-maker Frank Capra, but it also starred Jean Arthur, my favorite actress. So why did it suck? Two words, Gary Cooper. He is about a stale as an actor as you can find. Thoroughly uncharismatic.

So, even with that said, it gets a fairly substantial score. Score = 8

Acting: Adam Sandler, Winona Ryder, John Turturro, Allen Covert, Peter Gallagher, Jared Harris, Erick Avari, Peter Dante, Conchata Ferrell, Harve Presnell, Steve Buscemi, Blake Clark, John McEnroe, Al Sharpton, and Rob Schneider. I love to see previous characters return as is the case with Schneider. John Turturro is amazing, and is the best part of this movie. I also like Erick Avari and his role. Winona ain't too hard on the eyes either. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: This is perhaps the worst Sandler soundtrack to date. It is entirely forgettable as for interaction within the movie. The only song I can specifically recall is Bowie's "Space Oddity," and its usage was not only well integrated, but developed into a funny scene. Score: 6

Catch Phrase: "Very sneaky." "Can I massage your feet?" Again, not the greatest quote film among the Sandler offerings, but yet fairly solid. Score: 7

Mystique: This movie is a remake, and adaptation of a Capra film. They blasphemed, and normally I would be appalled at merely the suggestion, however in this case it's not only tolerable but welcome. I do not know what kind of pot Capra was smoking when he got Gary Cooper for the lead. I have seen more exciting curling matches than Gary Cooper's performance. Just think how much different the film would have been with Jimmy Stewart or Cary Grant as the lead. This was certainly a vast improvement in all ways except for the leading lady. Don't get me wrong, I love Winona Ryder, and I think she did a good job in this film, but you can't replace Jean Arthur.

If you are a fan of the first, or even if you just saw the original film, then you should certainly check this version out. Compound that with a Sandler fanatic, and you got yourself a decent score. Although, I wonder what this film would have been like with a more faithful rendering of the original and a more versatile male lead, perhaps like Jim Carrey. The world may never know. Score = 8

Total: 39/50 or 78% I am not sure if this film really deserves a score quite that low, but them's the rules.

2003-12-11T15:53:00.000-06:00

Little Nicky
Release Date: 2000
Rated: PG-13 for crude sexual humor, some drug content, language and thematic material

Plot: Certainly the most unrealistic of the Sandler films, Little Nicky follows the struggles of Satan's half angelic son in his efforts to thwart his power hungry half-brothers and return his father to his rightful throne. Since it is so over the top, however, the film is able to create some humorous scenes. Score = 8

Acting: Adam Sandler, Patricia Arquette, Harvey Keitel, Rhys Ifans, Tom 'Tiny' Lister Jr., Rodney Dangerfield, Allen Covert, Peter Dante, Jonathan Loughran, Robert Smigel, Reese Witherspoon, Dana Carvey, Kevin Nealon, Jon Lovitz, Carl Weathers, Quentin Tarantino, Michael McKean, Blake Clark, Rob Schneider, Clint Howard, Leah Lail, Lewis Arquette, Ellen Cleghorne, Bill Walton, Regis Philbin, Ozzy Osbourne, Dan Marino, and Henry Winkler. Jeeze. That's a lot of notable names. A ton of Saturday Night Live alumni too... I count eight. One thing really irritates me though, and that is the Ozzy Osbourne scene. I think it would have been a lot funnier if they would have had Ozzy actually say his line, and then use subtitles at the bottom of the screen to enable the audience to know what he was supposedly saying. I am not a big Reese Witherspoon fan or a Harvey Keitel fan either, and Patricia Arquette's character was unlikeable. At least by me. Score = 9

Score/Soundtrack: A solid listing. For the people who like the new crap we have a little P.O.D., a little old school AC/DC, and then some classic Scorpions. A nice mix when you also throw in Incubus, Foo Fighters, Powerman 5000 (they have a great live show by the way), Linkin Park (also great live), Ozzy, and of course... Chicago. Haha. The only disappointment is no Metallica. I mean come on. He even has Metallica posters in his room. Plus no Motorhead? I don't like Motorhead much myself, but he is a metal fan. Two harsh discrepancies, but not enough to bring the score down. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: "Chicago is awesome!" There are others, but I don't feel like posting them, but none as good as the quality stuff from Big Daddy. Score = 9

Mystique: Some great scenes in this movie. I particularly like the Jon Lovitz scene. That is hilarious. Certainly a good waste of time especially if you like Sandler. Then again, I know a lot of people were upset with the religious undertones and perhaps sacrilege involved. I don't personally see that, but I do hate the Heaven scenes for two reasons. One, it's boring, and two Reese Witherspoon. The triumphant return of Chubbs in that scene helps make up for it though. Score = 8

Total: 44/50 or 88% Letting Ozzy say his lines would have propelled this into the 90th percentile.

2003-12-11T00:37:00.000-06:00

Big Daddy
Release Date: 1999
Rated: PG-13 for language and some crude humor

Plot: An underachieving, albeit good-natured, man poses as his best friend and assumes custody of a young child. Eventually he is discovered in his deception, but not before he gains a greater understanding and a greater capacity for love. Still unrealistic... he would have gone to jail... but also quite funny and endearing. Score = 10

Acting: Adam Sandler, Joey Lauren Adams, Jon Stewart, Josh Mostel, Leslie Mann, Allen Covert, Rob Schneider, Kristy Swanson, Joseph Bologna, Steve Buscemi, Tim Herlihy, Jonathan Loughran, and Peter Dante. I am not exactly a big fan of Stewart's, but I really dig Leslie Mann, so that evens out. The little kids that played the boy weren't great, but they were pretty good for being that young. They were certainly better than Jake Lloyd was in Star Wars: Episode I. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: An interesting cover of "Sweet Child of Mine," by Sheryl Crow, and another good cover by Everlast of a Neil Young son. Good soundtrack selection, but probably not the best ever. Score = 8

Catch Phrase: Another great movie for good lines. At one time, I had decided to make a wav file site, and this is one of the few movies I got around to doing. Check out the site here: http://www.geocities.com/wav_world/ , and you can download some of these great lines: "You're going down sucker." "We wasted the good surprise on you." "It smells like urine in this joint, good job." "Ow! Scuba Steve, D*** you!" "Well, this is during the so-called disco era, but for me it was more of the doing mushrooms era." "Hi, what's your name, he'll write it on the wall. Mind your business." "Hey, old man river, zip it or I'll break your hip." "I know you're gonna be missing me when you got that big, white, wrinkly body on top of you with his loose skin and old balls... gross, ugh." "Layla, if you don't come over to Sonny's apartment tonight there is a good chance that I'lldevelope a stutter... pu pu pu please don't do this to me." "Did she say I was doing laundry with her, cause where I come from it's called doing the hibbidy-dibbidy." "That's right you drink the booze you loose, remember that punk." -- I actually quoted that one today. "Fish, Pony, Hip... hip hop... hip hop anonymous? D*** you! You gave him the easy ones!" "You like that? I'm right here miss, what're you gonna do about it? Haha." "Yes, considering we're in America. I mean if you don't like spaghetti and meatballs, why don't you get the hell out?" "Hey, listen. I'll come down there and give you crew cut mister." Great lines from a good movie. Score = 10

Mystique: Other than perhaps Wedding Singer, I think this is Sandler's most touching and poignant comedy. Score = 9

Total: 47/50 or 94%

2003-12-09T13:57:00.000-06:00

The Waterboy
Release Date: 1998
Rated: PG-13 for language and some crude sexual humor

Plot: An intellectually slow boy begins a not so illustrious endeavor as a water boy for a college in Mississippi. He is constantly ridiculed until they day he is told to not come back. He seeks out further opportunities for a water boy and lands a "job" with the smaller, rival school. Once there, it is discovered that he is a fierce tackler, and soon finds himself in the thick of the football action. Somewhat unrealistic, but still a great set up for a good laugh. Score = 10

Acting: Adam Sandler, Kathy Bates, Fairuza Balk, Henry Winkler, Jerry Reed, Larry Gilliard Jr., Blake Clark, Jonathan Loughran, Clint Howard, Allen Covert, Rob Schneider, Paul Wight, and cameos from: Bill Cowher, Chris Fowler, Jimmy Johnson, Chris Berman, Dan Patrick, Lee Corso, Lawrence Taylor, Lynn Swann, Brent Musburger, and Dan Fouts. Kathy Bates is an amazing actress, and this is perhaps the best all around cast as featured in any of Sandler's films. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: My favorite part of the movie is when the Waterboy makes it to the big game at the half, and what great momentum building song do they use, Rush's "Tom Sawyer." A great song, and excellently placed in the film. Also have some CCR and Animals action. Score = 9

Catch Phrase: "Compliments of Captain Insano." "That's some hi quality H2O." "Visualize and attack." "Something's wrong with his Obdulla Oblongata." "He's the best tackler I've seen since Joe Montanta," etc. and so on. It's a Sandler comedy. There are going to be some great lines. Score = 10

Mystique: This has become one of my favorite football movies of all time. If you like Sandler it's a guaranteed smash. Then again, if you like Sandler, you probably have already seen this several times over. Score = 10

Total: 49/50 or 98% I like Sandler, what can I say?

2003-12-08T11:59:00.000-06:00

The Wedding Singer
Release Date: 1998
Rated: PG-13 for sex-related material and language

Plot: An aging wedding singer is left at the alter, and is forced to reevaluate his life. In the process of so doing, he falls in love with a co-worker who is also engaged to be married. They spend so much time together planning her wedding, that they soon realize that they love each other, but will they end up together? Score = 10

Acting: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Christine Taylor, Allen Covert, Matthew Glave, Ellen Albertini Dow, Billy Idol, Robert Smigel, Kevin Nealon, Tim Herlihy, Jon Lovitz, and Steve Buscemi. Another great cast for a Sandler film. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: This movie is set in the 80s... that means 80s music... that means a score of ten. Plus, the Sandler covers and originals were excellent. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: "They were cones!" "That's a good meatball." "You're going to a mental institute." "I'm the best guitar player in the world. No lessons, self taught." A lot of classic lines in this charming romantic comedy. Score = 10

Mystique: Not only is this Sandler and his crew at their best, but it's set in the 1980s, one of the greatest decades in American History. Bonus. Score = 10

Total: 50/50 or 100% Wow, I didn't realize when I was typing up the review that it was a perfect score. Oh well, no harm done.

2003-12-07T20:45:00.000-06:00

Happy Gilmore
Release Date: 1996
Rated: PG-13 for language and some comic sexuality

Plot: A young man dreams of a professional career in hockey, but never makes the team due to his lack of skating ability and poor shot accuracy. His poor old grandmother loses all of her possessions and her home to the IRS, and the young man decides he id going to make sure they get the home back. After a strange set of circumstances, he lands himself on the PGA tour, and begins to earn the necessary funds. Still not very realistic, but I suppose there is a slim chance something of this nature could occur. Score = 9

Acting: Christopher McDonald, Adam Sandler, Julie Bowen, Frances Bay, Carl Weathers, Allen Covert, Robert Smigel, Bob Barker, Richard Kiel, Dennis Dugan, Joe Flaherty, and Kevin Nealon. I love this cast, and this is the first movie in which Sandler really develops his own style. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: From "Wooly Bully" to "Tuesday's Gone." A nice soundtrack that really catches the spirit of the film. I would have liked to see a Kiss song, not because I like Kiss, because I don't, but because Sandler's character specifically mentions that his grandmother wore a Gene Simmons mask when he first came to stay with her. At least, I think it was Gene Simmons. Score = 9

Catch Phrase: "You're gonna die clown!" "The price is wrong..." "You eat crap for breakfast?" "It's all in the hips." A lot of good ones really. Score = 10

Mystique: This is when Sandler's career really took off. He stabilized a good niche for himself, and began to use several of the same people in many of his movies. He is like a comedic Capra in that sense. Happy is the best gold movie... if you can call it that... ever. Score = 10

Total: 48/50 or 96% I am kind of surprised that I scored it that high, but I definitely think it's "A" material.

2003-12-05T11:23:00.000-06:00

Airheads
Release Date: 1994
Rated: PG-13

Plot: A struggling metal trio decide to take drastic actions to insure that the masses and record labels hear their music... they take a radio station hostage, and in so doing they discover that the hugely popular metal station will be changed to an easy listening format. Oh, the horrors. This one is slightly more realistic than Madison. Metal guys are friggin nutz, and have done some strange things criminal acts or otherwise. Score = 7

Acting: Brendan Fraser, Steve Buscemi, Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Michael McKean, Judd Nelson, David Arquette, Michael Richards, and Joe Mantegna. Not too shabby. Steve Buscemi is awesome. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: I am not a big metal fan, but Primus is on this album. Primus sucks so much that this soundtrack rocks. According to IMDB, there is a crapload of Irving Berlin thrown in here too. Bonus. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: "This thing smells like piss man! (wav file compliments of http://www.saunalahti.fi/frog1/wavs/buscemi.htm ). Score = 7

Mystique: Ok, this isn't a Sandler film in that he is not the lead, but he does play a substantial role, and the movie is definitely better than Billy Madison. That said, it's only an ok comedy. Score = 7

Total: 41/50 or 82% That works.

2003-12-04T13:57:00.000-06:00

Ok, I decided that over the next several days, I will review the Sandler flicks that I have seen.

Billy Madison
Release Date: 1995
Rated: PG-13

Plot: A spoiled, slacking, rich kid is told he must go back to finish school if he is to inherit his father's hotel business. He struggles through school at an accelerated pace, but is thwarted by one of his dad's employees who is bent on taking control of the company. Score: 6 I prefer a more realistic premise for movies, comedies included.

Acting: Adam Sandler, Bridgette Wilson, Bradley Whitford, Josh Mostel, and Norm Macdonald. An adequate cast, but this is well before Sandler is a more quality actor (not that he is a great actor now, but this was weak). Score = 7

Score/Soundtrack: It's an ok soundtrack with offering from the Cars, Ramones, STYX, The Jackson 5, and The Culture Club. Score = 7

Catch Phrase: Hmm, as you may have already noticed, I don't like this film. It stinks. I am glad it was at the beginning of Sandler's movie career, but looking back, I don't see how he got any backing for another film. I can't think of a single funny line, but if there was one, it likely came from Whitford and not Sandler. Score = 0

Mystique: Ok, it is a Sandler film, but only by name. I hate this movie. It stinks. It is boring. It isn't funny. Heck, Bridgette Wilson isn't even that good looking, although she does have some charm. Bottom line, me no likey. I would rather watch a Chuck Norris movie than this. Ok, no I wouldn't, but still. Score = 2

Total: 22/50 or 44% I think this is the lowest scoring film yet. Good. It deserves a bad score. A crappy score for a crappy film. Did I mention that I don't especially like this movie?

2003-12-02T14:43:00.000-06:00

High Anxiety
Release Date: 1978
Rated: PG

Plot: A psychiatrist begins a new position as head of an institute for the nervous, and soon becomes entangled in a murder in which he is the primary suspect. A Hitchcock spoof and homage rolled into one. Score = 8

Acting: Mel Brooks, Madeline Kahn, Cloris Leachman, Harvey Korman, Dick Van Patten, and Barry Levinson. Talk about a classic last. Madeline Kahn was fantastic in everything I have seen her in. It still irritates me that she died of cancer so young. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Original Mel Brooks compositions and performances. That probably doesn't help the score, but then again, when I watch the movie I find myself singing the song in my head for a few days afterwards. Score = 7

Catch Phrase: My favorite line hands down, is Barry Levinson's hotel employee screaming "Here's you paper! Happy now!?!" after spoofing the famous Psycho shower scene. Score = 10

Mystique: It's Mel Brooks, but then again, it's not his best work. It's a good one to watch if you haven't seen it yet, but if you have other Brooks films at your disposal then I would watch them instead. Score = 6

Total: 41/50 or 82% Sounds about right, but perhaps even a little lower. Don't get me wrong, I like the film, but I also like other Brooks films a whole lot more. You should watch it once at least.

2003-12-01T13:46:00.000-06:00

UHF
Release Date: 1989
Rated: PG-13

Plot: A young man and his friend are given control of a struggling independent TV station, and they alter the programming resulting in a ratings war with the local network affiliate. The station is about to go under, but an emergency pledge drive is started to save the station. Score = 9

Acting: 'Weird Al' Yankovic, Victoria Jackson, Michael Richards, Gedde Watanabe, Billy Barty, Fran Drescher, and John Paragon. Richards and Drescher both went on to fairly substantial notoriety as comedic actors. All in all, this wasn't a bad cast especially for an 80s comedy. Score = 8

Score/Soundtrack: It's Weird Al man! If you don't like it Conan the Librarian will come and destroy you. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir is also in the soundtrack. That's an automatic ten anyway. Score = 10.

Catch Phrase: "Stupid, your so stupid." "Gun control is for wimps and commies. Listen, let's get one thing straight. Guns don't kill people, I do." And of course the 1000th alteration of a famous line, "Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers!" Score = 9

Mystique: It's Weird Al man! Seriously, I think this movie got overlooked simply because of when it was released. It came out at the same time as Batman and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, as well as a few others. I wonder who won that battle? Even with its limited exposure, UHF has a cult following even outside of Weird Al fans. Score = 9

Total: 45/50 or 90% That's even before a bonus for being an 80s movie. This movie should be a classic. If it isn't one of your comedic classics yet, then you just haven't seen it enough yet. Watch again or for the first time. NOW!!!

2003-11-28T09:06:00.000-06:00

I am not gonna post again this weekend cause family is in town from North Carolina. I will start again Monday.

2003-11-26T17:29:00.000-06:00

Wagons East
Release Date: 1994
Rated: PG-13 for crude and sexual humor and language

Plot: A small western town in the 1880s gets fed up with the hardships of the west, and decides to travel back to the east in an wagon train. Meanwhile, a railroad tycoon wants to stop their exodus because he doesn't want people back east thinking the west stinks which would lead the land value to lower and the purpose of a transcontinental railroad to become obsolete. Score = 8

Acting: John C. McGinley, Richard Lewis, John Candy, Robert Picardo, Melinda Culea, Lochlyn Munro, Abraham Benrubi, Charles Rocket, Don Lake, and Ethan Phillips. I hate Richard Lewis, but he is almost tolerable in this. John Candy was one of my favorites, and this is his second to last film. John C. McGinley totally makes this movie. He is hilarious. Score = 8

Score/Soundtrack: Nothing special. Just some generic western themes. Score = 5

Catch Phrase: "Happy Valentine's Day." Admittedly, that sounds lame, but its the way that McGinley says it. He plays a homosexual in this role... a stereotypical homosexual. Score = 9

Mystique: A crude comedy to be sure. Some good nasty humor here and there. McGinley rocks. John Candy fans should check it out. It's less than an hour and a half, so even if you don't like it it won't waste too much of your time. Score = 7

Total: 37/50 or 74% Sounds about right. It's good for a laugh especially with a lot of sleep-deprived people.

2003-11-24T23:09:00.000-06:00

Stealing Harvard
Release Date: 2002
Rated: PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, language and drug references

Plot: A dependable and loving uncle promises his young niece that he would pay for her college in an effort to cheer her up. He, of course, forgot all about it, but she did not. Now he has to come up with the money. Should he use the money that he and his fiance have been saving for years? That won't work, because he can't hurt his fiance. The only option left... steal it of course. I like the premise it lends itself well for comedic moments. Score = 10

Acting: Tom Green, Jason Lee, Leslie Mann, Dennis Farina, Megan Mullally, John C. McGinley, Chris Penn, Richard Jenkins, and Bruce McCulloch the former Kid in the Hall that also directed. I really like Lee, Mann, and McGinley, and this is the first movie I have seen with Tom Green that didn't make my skin crawl in disgust and irritation. In fact, I actually quite enjoyed his character in this film. Any time I see someone from Freaks and Geeks, I have to mention it. Martin Starr was THE geek in that show. Man, I really loved that show. Canceled after only one season. What a bucket of piss. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: A little Peaches and Herb & Andrew WK anyone? Not the world's greatest soundtrack, but they use what they got well. Score = 8

Catch Phrase: "Well, I guess I couldn't visualize too well since there was a gun pointed at my mind's eye!" "I'm not liquid." "Get up, get out, get up get out, get up, get out, don't touch my door!" "I wanted to scope the place out. I was hungry so I decided to heat up a brick of cheese. I need my cheese." "Duff: Maybe we can use slingshots to rob the place.
John: A slingshot is not a real weapon Duff. Duff: Oh yeah, well why don't you define what a real weapon is for me while I shoot this plastic baby doll into your temple and 180 miles per hour!" Good stuff. Score = 10

Mystique: Admittedly, not everyone is going to like this movie. Think Old School but less raunchy, and not quite as funny. If you like that kind of movie... this is right up your alley. If not, it will probably annoy you. Score = 8

Total: 46/50 or 92% Wow, that scored a tad higher than I originally expected, but that's not a bad thing. I like this movie a lot. It's a good one to watch with a bunch of people who have a little too much sugar in their system.

2003-11-23T00:29:00.000-06:00

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Plot: Harry returns to Hogwarts after a miserable summer in which he had no contact with any of his friends. Once at school, he and Hermione, and Ron discover that an evil force is at work within the walls of Hogwarts itself, and they do their best to stop it even after jumping to several foolish conclusions along the way. Really, you would think these kids would learn to stop doing that after 5 years of foolishness. Score = 10

Acting: Much of the cast from the first movie returns. The only newcomers are Gemma Jones, Shirley Henderson, Miriam Margolyes, Christian Coulson, , Kenneth Branagh, and Jason Isaacs. I friggin love Jason Isaacs. He was awesome in The Patriot, and doesn't disapoint here. The kids are developing as actors, and their performance in this film was better than the last. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: I think from now on instead of listing a ten for movies under this category, I may just replace it with "John Williams." Score = John Williams

Catch Phrase: I dunno. No real stand out lines in this one either. I particularly like Jason Isaacs scenes. The man plays evil very well. Score = 4

Mystique: I remember watching Radcliffe, Grint, and Watson all on Oprah when this movie premiered. Oprahis one of the most powerful people in the United States. She has massive influence in spending at least, and if money makes the world go round, then she is right up there. If Oprah allowed these kids to grace her presence, then Harry Potter must have some mystique no? Score = 10

Total: 44/50 or 88% I actually liked this movie better than the first so the score is a tad misleading perhaps.

2003-11-22T02:34:00.000-06:00

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Plot: A little punk that has been abused by his aunt and uncle's family his entire life is invited to the Hogwart's school of magic. He soon discovers that his parents were murdered... and by a wizard. Harry adapts to the world of magic, and unravels the mystery of his past. Score: 10

Acting: Richard Harris, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltrane, Daniel Radcliffe, Richard Griffiths, Warwick Davis, Verne Troyer, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Tom Felton, John Cleese, David Bradley, and Alan Rickman. Admittedly, the kids are much better in the second movie, but they do an ok job in the first. Not that it really hinders the film too much, as the rest of the cast is rock solid, and excellent choices I might add. Score = 9

Score/Soundtrack: Any soundtrack by John Williams is almost assuredly a ten. This is no exception. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends." "It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live." Neither are truly great lines. Score = 6

Mystique: When this movie first came out, I though, whoopee some dumb kids flic. I figured I would watch the movie though, as the conservative right denounced it for its use of magic and supposed evil themes. A truly silly claim. I was glad I watched it, however, as I grew to enjoy the movie series and then read the books. Not a bad read at all. Pretty good in fact. Some of the highest grossing films of all time, and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, the third installment, is due out next year, and is the future release I look forward to more than any other, including the final installment of the Lord of the Rings and Red Dwarf the movie. Score = 10

Total: 45/50 or 90% Another great PG film. There really aren't that many, so we should appreciate the good ones more.

2003-11-20T16:42:00.000-06:00

w00t! I am back in action.

The Majestic

Plot: A struggling screenwriter becomes embroiled in the anti-communism crusades of the 1950s, loses his place in Hollywood, and subsequently drowns his sorrows in alcohol. When he leaves the bar, he ends up rolling his car off a bridge and into the Pacific northwest coastline. He awakens with no memory, but soon discovers something he never knew, courage and a willingness to do what is right regardless of the repercussions. Score = 10

Acting: Jim Carrey, Bob Balaban, Hal Holbrook, Laurie Holden, Martin Landau, David Ogden Stiers, Ron Rifkin, and James Whitmore all star in this modern classic. Carrey is perfect in this role. The film has a "Capra-like" quality to it, and a wholesomeness seldom seen in characters in recent releases. Voice work is done by Matt Damon, Garry Marshall, Sydney Pollack, Carl Reiner, and Rob Reiner. As if that wasn't enough, Bruce Campbell also has a role. Score = 10

Score/Soundrtack: Full of period music and American musical masterpieces. Score = 9

Catch Phrase: Hmm. I hate when I can't think of a really good line for movies that I really, really, really like. Unfortunately, as I haven't seen this movie in quite some time, The Majestic falls under this category too. There are two really moving scenes that I feel are especially good however. One, is when Carrey's character is reading the letter of Luke to his fiance Adele that was written while he was in Europe during the war. The second, and even more moving, is when Carrey's character is brought before the Senate Judiciary hearing. His stance, his mannerisms, and his words could have just as easily been seen in a Frank Capra film starring Jimmy Stewart. I am not going to show either scene's lines in completion here as they are too long. If you don't know the scenes in question, then I heartily recommend that you watch the movie again, or for the first time. Score = 8

Mystique: I love Frank Capra. He is by far my favorite director. This is the only movie in the last 40 years or so that comes even remotely close to capturing a smidgen of the charm and quality that exudes from the classic Capra films. As such, The Majestic scores high in this category even though the majority of the movie going crowd hated Carrey in this film, and the film itself.

The public sucks. This is the same public who drives the demand that offers us such "musical" greats as The Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, and Brittney Spears. Yeah, we should trust their judgment. Score = 10

Total: 47/50 or 94% If, by now, you haven't gotten the clue, I really love this film. There are only a handful of actors and movies that can truly compare with the greatest movies of all time, and I feel that this movie and Carrey's performance have serious cause for discussion in regards to their place among the greats.

2003-11-11T00:06:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. I have not had the most steady of internet accessibility of late. I will try and get the odd few posts here and there in the near future, until I can get a more regular schedule again.

A Christmas Story

Plot: A narrator recounts the Christmas of his ninth year, and his attempts to influence his parents to buy him a Red Ryder BB Gun, and the day to day struggles of a young boy growing up. Score = 10

Acting: Melinda Dillon, Darren McGavin, Tedde Moore, Zack Ward, and of course, Peter Billingsley as Ralphie. Score = 9

Score/Sountrack: What do you expect from a Christmas film, classic carols throughout. Score = 8

Catch Phrase: "You'll shoot your eye out!" Score = 10

Mystique: This movie is full of great and memorable scenes, and is certainly a Christmas classic. I just indoctrinated my seven year old niece with this masterpiece. I watch it at least once every year. Great stuff. Score = 10

Total: 47/50 or 94%. I could add on an eighties bonus, but there is really no need. Just good, wholesome, and enduring entertainment.

2003-10-30T16:49:00.000-06:00

Super Troopers

Plot: Local cops and the state troopers nearby are in a constant struggle for supremacy in the state of Vermont. Who knew? Score = 6

Acting: Apparently this movie, and a couple of others, was made by a comedy troupe called Broken Lizard. As such, the majority of the actors are virtual unknowns. There are a few somewhat recognizable names though. Marisa Coughlan, Daniel von Bargen, and Lynda Carter all have roles. Probably not their best career moves. Score = 7

Score/Soundtrack: This is a goof ball movie, and it has a good goofball soundtrack to fit. Score = 8

Catch Phrase: "Litreocola." Yeah, doesn't do much for me either. Score = 6

Mystique: This movie has it's moments. It is laden with potty humor, which only goes so far. All in all, not bad, but certainly not good either. Score = 6

Total: 33/50 or 66% Hmm... does that sound right... yes, yes it does.

2003-10-29T00:12:00.000-06:00

Dreamcatcher

Plot: Four young boys help rescue a seemingly retarded child from cruel bullies, and in so doing make a lifelong friend. Their new friend helps them grow closer than they ever imagined, and prepares them to save the world from alien invasion. Score: 10

Acting: Morgan Freeman, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damian Lewis, Timothy Olyphant, Tom Sizemore, Donnie Wahlberg, and Eric Keenleyside. Wahlberg was unrecognizable, and is fast becoming one of my favorite actors with his impressive range. I saw his name in the cast at the beginning of the movie, watched the film, and didn't realize who played his character until perusing the cast again after the film. Damian Lewis too continues to impress, and Jason Lee is just good fun. Add to the mix the elder statesmen of the cast, Morgan Freeman, and you have a solid, total, acting performance. Let's just hope that Sizemore can truly overcome his addictions, and then return to acting with success after his jail time is served. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Roy Orbison singing Blue Bayou, mentions of two classic TV theme songs (Scooby Doo and Mighty Mouse), and some "hit-the-spot" original score to add some extra tension and gusto. Score = 8

Catch Phrase: I have two for this film, well, really only one with a mention of another. First, SSDD, or "Same shit, different day." This line is frequently used throughout the film, and is, in nearly all accounts, a true statement. I also make mention of a Robert Frost poem that was alluded to in the film: "The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep." That line is found in the poem, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. Score = 9

Mystique: Another entertainer Stephen King cinematic adaptation. It has elements of horror, science fiction, action, and mystery. It does contain some graphic scenes. If you don't mind a bit of gore now and then, I certainly suggest this film. Score = 8

Total: 45/50 or 90% Sounds about right to me. I enjoyed it. Jason Lee and Timothy Olyphant added the perfectly inserted comedic moments, and I am still surprised at Wahlberg's range. Who would of thought that a New Kid on the Block actually had talent?

2003-10-27T10:58:00.000-06:00

An American Werewolf in London

Plot: A couple of American backpackers are in England roaming the countryside when they are attacked by what appears to be a werewolf. One dies, but the other is merely injured. Florence Nightingale rears her not so ugly head as a nurse falls in love with the recovering American. Things are looking up... until the next full moon, and then everything comes to a head... a werewolf head that kills several Londoners. How will this ugly curse end? Score = 9

Acting: David Naughton (who was in Midnight Madness), Griffin Dunne, Lila Kaye, Jenny Agutter, John Woodvine, and Frank Oz. You may not recogize most of these names, and perhaps for good reason. Actually, Lila Kaya is good, and was also in The Canterville Ghost remake with Alyssa Milano which is still one of my favorites. Frank Oz is friggin Miss Piggy, and it doesn't get much better than that... cept for maybe YODA! Really, the only underachiever in this movie is Naughton. Unfortunately, he is the star. Score: 7

Score/Soundtrack: Three different versions of the classic "Blue Moon," and the Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Bad Moon Rising." How fitting is that? Score: 8

Catch Phrase: "Mommy, a naked American man stole my balloons." Score: 9

Mystique: Well, this is a horror film I guess, but it's not really horrific. It's a love story too, but we all know those are weak. It is an eighties movie, and it shows. Score = 7

Total: 40/50 or 80% plus 8 points for being an eighties film that I like, making the total 48/50 or 96% It is a weak movie really, but it holds some nostalgic niche in my life. I can vaguely remember the first time I saw this movie. I had stayed home from school, as I frequently did when I didn't feel like going, and I pulled out one of the several hundred video tapes of movies we had, and got to watching. It quickly became one of my favorites, and I have watched this movie a few dozen times. Who needs school when you have movies?

2003-10-26T16:17:00.000-06:00

Here are some more links of interest for ya:

This is a nice spoof of eighties films. It pretty much shows the ending of every eighties movie ever made. Hehe, its kind of funny.

For some reason, I find this amusing too.

2003-10-26T16:14:00.000-06:00

White Oleander

Plot: A girl is thrown into the foster program to fend for herself after her mother is convicted of murdering her loose boyfriend. The plot had great potential, but ugh. Score = 8

Acting: Michelle Pfeiffer, Billy Connolly, Renée Zellweger, Robin Wright Penn, Noah Wyle, Cole Hauser, Patrick Fugit, and Alison Lohman. Golden cast right? Yeah, pretty much. They all did good jobs with their characters. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Eh. Nothing spectaular to be sure. Score: 3

Catch Phrase: I could barely stay awake by the end of this movie let alone find a line satisfying. Score = 0

Mystique: A nice boring chick flic, and I mean boring. At least Maid in Manhattan, and Sweet Home Alabama kept things moving. This film stalled something fierce. Score = 2

Total: 23/50 or 46% Wow, two movies in a row with the same crappy score. Let me just say, that The Princess Diaries is far and away better than this tripe.

2003-10-25T20:12:00.000-05:00

I don't feel like doing a write up on White Oleander yet, I will make you wait till tomorrow which will simulate the agonizing wait I had watching this long movie.

Instead, I will post some links I came upon recently that I enjoyed.

First, here is a link to a bluegrass CD in which the band covers Metallica songs. They sound interesting.

Second, Play Trapped 4, its kind of fun if you are bored.

Third, download Skype to talk over the internet to other Skype users, for free. Supposedly its better than all of those previous programs that provided a similar service.

Fourth, This has become my favorite site on the net. I get bored easily with the internet, and this supplies me with links to sites I normally wouldn't have looked at. You seldom get dead links, and even less frequently do you get mature material, but it does happen.

Fifth, when will you die. Find out at the site. I will die on Tuesday, June 17, 2053 at the ripe old age of 73. Better than when I checked it the other day when it had me dieing in 2034.

Finally, DOWNLOAD Armagetron! That's an order. It is based upon the Movie Tron. THey even have a Tron movie soundpack to go with it. Great stuff.

2003-10-24T19:01:00.000-05:00

The Princess Diaries

Plot: A teenage girl learns that she is heir to the throne of Genovia, and must factor the press and stress involved with this exciting news in addition to the turmoils of adolescence. Score = 6

Acting: Julie Andrews, Anne Hathaway, and Hector Elizondo star, and Heather Matarazzo and Mandy Moore also have roles. I like Andrews, Hathaway, and Elizondo, but this movie certainly doesn't stretch their acting skills to the limit. Score = 7

Score/Soundtrack: If a Hanson song is the best song on the soundtrack, then that is probably a sign that the overall soundtrack falls in the range of lame to total crap. At least it does in this case. Score = 5

Catch Phrase: Let me think... no nothing coming... YOU GET A ZERO! Score = 0

Mystique: PG. That about somes it up. Good for the family, and much like "Daddy Day Care," it isn't completely a waste of time for adults. Score: 5

Total: 23/50 or 46% Wow, nice score.

2003-10-22T22:19:00.000-05:00

Daddy Day Care

Plot: Two recently fired fathers in an effort to save, and indeed make money, start a day care service. The established giant of local day care takes umbrage, and tries to run them out of business. Score = 8

Acting: Eddie Murphy, Jeff Garlin, Steve Zahn, Kevin Nealon, Lacey Chabert, Anjelica Huston, Leila Arcieri, Regina King, Jonathan Katz, Siobhan Fallon, and Elle Fanning all have roles in this uplifting comedy. Elle Fanning is the younger sister of Dakota Fanning who first made it big in I am Sam, and in fact Elle also makes an appearance in that film. Good quality acting, but nothing truly mind-blowing in the film, after all, it is a comedy. Score = 7

Score/Soundtrack: From Mozart to the Jackson Five, from BTO to Beethoven. This soundtrack has a little bit of everything, but they don't give the feel of a great sound track. It's more like a hodge podge assortment rather than a clever compilation. Score = 7

Catch Phrase: "I missed." Score = 6

Mystique: A nice PG film for the whole family to enjoy, but certainly not destined for greatness in the annals of anything. Score = 6

Total: 34/50 or 68% The movie took a while to develop, and doesn't really have any priceless comedic moments rather a few giggles here and there. I didn't like Kevin Nealon's character. He was a jerk in this movie. I dunno, I just got used to him as the slightly screwie good guy in the Sandler films. A good one for little kids, and yet not trite enough to utterly annoy the adults in the room.

2003-10-21T11:53:00.000-05:00

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

Plot: This classic Capra film begins with the death of a United States Senator. A replacement needs to be appointed by the governor of the state, and through the influence of a corrupt political machine, he nominates Jefferson Smith an unknown young man who volunteers his time helping educate young boys. Once in Washington, the naive and fiercely patriotic Smith discovers the corruption that is the political world. Score = 10

Acting: I love this cast. Jean Arthur is my all time favorite actress hands down, and James Stewart is still one of my favorite actors. Claude Rains, Edward Arnold, Thomas Mitchell, Beulah Bondi, and Harry Carey also have integral roles in the film. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Not a masterpiece of a score, but a solid one. Patriotic themes throughout, and used at just the right time to make a truly effective propaganda film for American patriotism. Score = 8

Catch Phrase: Hmm... I know there are a few decent lines, but I haven't seen this movie in a while, and I can't bloody remember any. So, unfortunately, I will have to mark it down. Score = 4

Mystique: Capra. Do I need to say anything more? Ok, Jimmy Stewart and Jean Arthur. World War II era propaganda piece perfectly done (ok, its 1939, so technically the U.S. isn't at war yet, but Europe is or soon will be). Score = 10

Total: 42/50 or 84% That's not good enough, so I am giving a Capra bonus of 5 points, thus the adjusted scores are 47/50 or 94% Yeah, that's better. This is my second favorite Capra film, the first being You Can't Take It with You, and I am a sucker for a good patriotic film. Certainly one of the best films of all time.

2003-10-20T13:03:00.000-05:00

The Goonies

Plot: A neighborhood group of friends wallow in despair as the demise of their stomping grounds is imminent due to a plan to develop a golf course in its place. The kids fall into a bad situation after running into a family of criminals, and eventually live a fairy tale when they find a pirates hidden treasure. Score = 10

Acting: Sean Astin was the thang back then, and he is the "leader" of the goonie pack which also includes: Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman, Kerri Green, Martha Plimpton, Jonathan Ke Quan, and the Fratelli family includes: John Matuszak, Robert Davi, Joe Pantoliano, and Anne Ramsey. This cast couldn't be more perfect for this film. Goonies rock. I wish I were a Goonie. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Oh man. This is an 80s masterpiece of a soundtrack with songs from artists including REO Speedwagon, Cyndi Lauper, and The Bangles. Anytime I hear "Good Enough," I think of Goonies, and vice versa. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: "Hey you guys!!!" "I'm setting boody traps... You mean booby traps... That's what I said. I am setting booby traps!!" I also particularly love Chunk's confession of guilt to the Fretallis while his hand is in the blender. Check out wav files featuring these lines, and many more from goonies at: http://goonies.freewebspace.com/ Score = 10

Mystique: This is still one of my all-time favorite movies. It is truly a classic of the 1980s. As soon as it came out on DVD, I was all over it. I highly recommend watching the DVD with the commentary on. It has the cast reunited and watching the movie together and talking about the filming. It's great stuff. Score = 10

Total: 50/50 or 100% I would give it the 1980s bonus, but what's the point? Cause the 80s rock... so 58/50 or 116% Yeah, that looks better.

2003-10-18T08:24:00.000-05:00

Identity

"As I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today, I wish, I wish, he'd go away."

Plot: This is a movie where the story is everything, and I don't want to spoil it. I will only say what kind of movie it is. This is a dramatic, thriller, murder mystery with intriguing plot twists, and character developments. I hate horror films. I think they are pointless. However, this film is a mystery, with elements of horror, and that makes it work really well. Score = 10

Acting: Another fine cast with appearances by John Cusack, Ray Liotta, Amanda Peet, John Hawkes, Alfred Molina, Clea DuVall, John C. McGinley, William Lee Scott, Jake Busey, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Rebecca De Mornay, Leila Kenzle, and Holmes Osborne. None of these actors are real blockbuster stars with the exception of maybe Cusack and Liota, but that is perfect for this film. They are all skilled, and they mesh well with no one actor overbaring the others. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: The only song I remember is "All My Life" by the Foo Fighters. I like the Foo Fighters and all, but that just ain't enough son. The score was enough to help sustain a sense of urgency and danger throughout the film, but is nothing earth shattering or majestic. Score = 5

Catch Phrase: By now, anyone that does read these reviews, and they are few and far between, might recognize that the "Catch Phrase" category is not so much a catch phrase as it is my favorite lines from the film. Here is the dilemma for this film, I don't recall any great lines per se, but more the overall idea and intricacies of the film. So, I suppose the line will be the only line I do remember, which I think may in fact be the last line of the movie. "Whores don't get a second chance." Wow, actually, while writing that, I decided I genuinely like that line. Could be a song title, or a movie title for that matter. EDIT: I also remembered a couplet that is used throughout the film. How I forgot that, I don't know, but you can see the line right under the title of this movie at the top of the review. Score = 10

Mystique: I liked this movie. I thought it was pretty good while I was watching, but thought it was predictable, as I was certain that I had the "killer" identified (pun intended). I was more than a little shocked as the story developed, and for a while, a little irritated, as I thought they might try to pin it all on some supernatural force driving them together. I was relieved, and entertained to find out the real cause of the situation, and I liked the "happy ending" of the official release. It appears that the DVD also contains 93 minutes of bonus material and an alternate ending. I will have to look into that. If you like thrillers, mysteries, and an involved story line, then this movie is right up your alley. Score = 8

Total: 43/40 or 86% I watched this late at night, and it added to the overall impact of the film. I highly recommend doing likewise.

2003-10-17T20:32:00.000-05:00

The Shawshank Redemption

Plot: A man is wrongfully convicted of the murder of his adulterous wife, and spends the next several decades befriending a fellow convict. Eventually, he helps free some his inmates spiritually, while he himself escapes the confines of the prison physically. Score = 10

Acting: Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman star, while Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, Gil Bellows, Mark Rolston, and James Whitmore certainly put in notable performances of their own. Morgan Freeman is definitely one of the best actors working today. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: A little Mozart, and a lot of original material by Newman. The haunting theme and its recurrence throughout the film really help solidify this film as one of the all-time best. A soundtrack can really effect the overall feel of a movie, and can make a decent film a good one, and a good film a great one. That is certainly the case here. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: "Get busy living, or get busy dying." A true statement, and a great line. Score = 8

Mystique: Yet another Stephen King movie adaptation, and probably the best one. That is saying a lot when you consider the likes of Stand by Me. If I had to make a top 100 films of all time, Shawshank would certainly be on it. A classic, and seemingly a regular on TNT. Score = 10

Total: 48/50 or 96% Here are some more inspiring and thought provoking lines: "It takes a strong man to save himself, and a great man to save another." "Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." "Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free." "Remember, Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies!" This classic will never die.

2003-10-16T16:16:00.000-05:00

The Royal Tenenbaums

Plot: This movie plays like a book, as the narrator reads from the "family history" of the Royal Tenenbaum family's demise and ultimate redemption. The Tenenbaums are a wealthy well known family along the lines of the Rockerfellers, and their eccentricity comes alive in this twisted comedy. Score: 10 I like the narration of the book, and the movie being separated into chapters.

Acting: Gene Hackman, Anjelica Huston, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Danny Glover, Bill Murray, and narration by Alec Baldwin. Obviously, there is no star power in this film, and subsequently nothing to rave about. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Vince Guaraldi's "Christmas Time is Here," Paul Simon's "Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard," The Ramones' "Judy is a Punk," songs by the Stones, John Lennon, Velvet Underground, Bob Dylan, Jackson Browne, and some original compositions by Mark Mothersbaugh make for a solid soundtrack in and of itself. However, the real gem of the soundtrack is featured during the suicide attempt of Luke Wilson's character. The scene is perfect with the addition of Elliot Smith's cover of "Needle in the Hay." Man, I just love that scene. Score: 10

Catch Phrase: I personally like Ben Stiller's line, "Them's the rules," and for some strange reason I really get a kick out of Gene Hackman yelling out the window at Owen Wilson, "I know you a$$hole!" I can't explain why, but it makes me laugh every time I hear it. There are some other good lines, but I think these are my two favorites. Score = 8

Mystique: Well, if you like weird comedies, you are in look. In a strange way, it kind of reminds me of the Jean-Pierre Jeunet classic, Delicatessen Delicatessen is certainly a darker comedy, but the comedic timing is similar. I love this film, but I doubt the vast majority of viewers would truly love it. Score: 7

Total: 45/50 or 90% Don't watch this film thinking its a comedy, instead view it as a drama with comedic elements, and I think you will enjoy it more.

2003-10-15T11:50:00.000-05:00

A Mighty Wind

Plot: A "documentary" covering the benefit concert honoring the late Irving Steinbloom, who produced some of the folk era's finest musical acts. The documentary aspect is kind of clever, but it falls short in implementation. Score = 7

Acting: Harry Shearer, Michael McKean, Christopher Guest (all from Spinal Tap and numerous other classics), Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara, Ed Begley Jr., Fred Willard, Don Lake, and Bob Balaban all have roles in this talented cast. You might not recognize all of these names, or any of them for that matter, but you would recognize their faces if you saw them. They have been in tons and tons of other movies and tv shows. Great cast. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Let me preface this by stating that I hate folk music, however, by the end of the film, I was actually enjoying the cheesy songs being played. I enjoyed it so much, that I wouldn't mind purchasing a copy of the soundtrack. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: Well, there is a guy played by Fred Willard, who was a former TV child star that had several catch phrases that are highly annoying. I was going to use one of those, but I can't remember any of them, and they were highly annoying. So, there are catch phrases there, just not great ones. Score = 4

Mystique: Man, when I saw trailers for this film I thought, that could be one of the greatest comedies of all time, or a total waste of time. Unfortunately, it landed more towards the latter rather than the former. The documentary style format had potential, but in the end, the script just lacked any truly great comedic moments. Harry Shearer did his best to pull some laughs, and Eugene Levy had his moments, but oi vey. Score = 5

Total = 36/50 or 72% That score is about right. If you are a burned out hippy, you might enjoy this movie more.

2003-10-14T13:42:00.000-05:00

The Last Crusade

Plot: The final episode of Indiana Jones as we currently know it. Indiana is reunited with his father after being solicited to help rescue him after he disappeared in the field while looking for the coveted Holy Grail. The Nazis make their return as they try to attain the Grail, and kill the Joneses. Score = 10

Acting: Sean Connery and Harrison Ford. Talk about a blockbuster. Denholm Elliot and John Rhys-Davies return in their roles, and are accompanied by Michael Byrne, the beautiful Alison Doody, and the late River Phoenix. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Score = 10 Big surprise huh. Actually, in ways, this is the best soundtrack of the three films, as it also features a fantastic German March during the book burning scene.

Catch Phrase: "It tells, me that goose-stepping morons like yourself, should try reading books instead of burning them." Sean Connery gets the nod with this line, but admittedly not the best. Score = 7

Mystique: Sean Connery brings a mystique all his own, and this barely fits as an 80s movie which helps the score. Score = 10

Total = 47/50 or 94% Indiana Jones is one of the greatest film series ever. I can't wait for the next installation.

2003-10-13T23:43:00.000-05:00

The Temple of Doom

Plot: Indiana Jones's plane crashes near a drought plagued Indian village, and he is quickly involved in helping the village recover their missing children and their sacred artifact that supposedly grants them good luck and good crop yields. As Indy investigates further, he unravels a disturbing cult poised to overthrow the British rule in India. Score = 10

Acting: Of course, Harrison Ford stars, and is joined by his sidekick Short Round played by, Jonathan Ke Quan. Kate Capshaw plays, in my opinion, the hottest of the Indiana Jones female leads to date. It didn't hurt that her character was born in Missouri, as I was born in Missouri too.... GO MIZZOU! Score = 10 Any movie with a Goonie is awesome.

Score/Soundtrack: See the score for Raiders of the Lost Ark below. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: Jonathan Ke Quan, a Goonie, has the catch phrase for this one, "He no nuts, he crazy." I love that guy, and I love that line. 10/10

Mystique: Man, Indiana Jones r0x0rz on its own, plus a Goonie, plus an 80s movie, which I forgot to figure in the Raiders score... and we have the first perfect score for a movie. Score = 10

Total = 50/50 or 100% Could have easily been 58/50

By the way, St. Louis area Dairy Queens will have $.35 hamburgers tomorrow as the St. Louis Rams scored over 35 points tonight. Hooah!

2003-10-13T01:01:00.000-05:00

Ok, in an effort to make up for my lack of posts here and there, I decided to post some comments I made at one of my favorite message boards (the America's Army Operations Video Game R&R Board) about our most embarrassing moments. Unfortunately, I was able to think of several, and here they are.

Oh man, I have too many to remember. Here are a few though:

1) First grade... I do not know why, but my little first grader mind didn't think much of the fact that I had put on a pair of blue jeans with a huge whole in the crotch to wear to school. They were probably unwashed too. Perhaps I didn't notice until I was well on the way to school... yeah, that must be it, couldn't be my dimwittedness.

At any rate, once I arrived at school, I became a full-fledged genius. In a moment of divine providence, I was enlightened with wisdom and understanding beyond my years. I quickly went to my desk and retrieved my trusty crayons and a piece of lined notebook paper. I opened the box with excitement and selected "Royal Blue." "Royal Blue" had been good to me over those months of school, and I knew it wouldn't let me down in this my greatest moment of need. Feverishly I went to work with the skill and artful eye of a Caravaggio or a Rockwell. My attention to detail was impecable. Pleased with the finished article, I need only wait for the final application.

With haste, I adjourned to the bathroom, and with litheful movements born of necessity, I positioned my "denim" patch strategically in my jeans. I returned to class in joyful exaltation; sure in the knowledge that no one would know of my perdicament.

To my shock and dismay, that filthy, no good, dirty roten piece of paper fell out not five minutes later just to spite me. Since that day I curse "Royal Blue" for his traitorous deceit.

2) Also in first grade... I had to pee REALLY bad, but we were right in the middle of a spelling test. I hate spelling tests. I had to sit in agony as the teacher reread words and sentences for those chucklehead, redneck, hicks that were too dumb to sit on a toilet correctly, let alone spell "hello."

Finally the test ended, and I burst forth from the room as fast as my little legs could carry me, but alas, it was all for not. I urinated on myself not 2 feet away from the bathroom door. Oh, to have a larger bladder!

I would recieve no providence that day. The best I could come up with was to wipe my pants off as best I could, and hope no one paid me much attention. Hope is a fickle and uncaring thing.

3) Fourth grade... Miss Wade, the student teacher and object of all the fourth grade boys fantasies. Looking back on it now, I realize she wasn't all that attractive, but to our young... "minds," she was Helen of Troy. Whatever dreams I had with Miss Wade were crushed on a bitterly cold October day in Illinois.

Recess. The pinnacle of any redblooded American boy's school day. It is an unwritten rule in playground ettiquette, that if a kickball were to bound towards you, that you quickly scan the field to determine who's ball it was, and then with all the might and power you can muster, kick it in the opposite direction, thus insuring the farthest possible distance to be travelled by the unfortunate soul sent to track it down.

The day proceeded as normal, I was destroying my classmates in a game of kick ball. I can say with some modesty, and in all truthfulness, that I caught the ball better than anyone in the class, and only one other boy could throw or kick it farther than I. It was with a feeling of good will and euphoria that I soon beheld a great site... a loose kickball.

The day was truly mine. I advanced on the ball with as much fury as I could will my body to take, planted my left foot, and sent my right foot flying into the ball to create the optimum combination, of heighth, distance, and beauty. I looked with admiration at what I had created. The ball exploded from my foot and travelled with velocity unheard of at the elementary school level. Truly, I had created a masterpiece worthy of at least a junior high school kickballer, maybe even as astounding as a high schooler. It was with utter shock and horror that I watched what soon followed.

The ball travelled not 15 feet before it smashed into the freezing cheeks of my beloved Miss Wade. With eyes filling with tears of pain and with a look of betrayed trust she looked down upon me with a questioning gaze. I yearned for a cliff that I might throw myself off of it at that moment, for my innocent, adolescent fantasy was crushed. I stumbled out words of sincere apology, but I knew that Miss Wade would never allow me to be in her life as anything more than a mere pupil, and a cruel brute of a pupil at that.

You might say that my life ended on that day.

2003-10-12T23:54:00.000-05:00

Ok, I missed some days there. No big deal. Its not like anyone reads these anyway. Since they are being released soon on DVD, I decided to do the Indiana Jones films... can't wait for Indiana Jones 4!!!

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Plot: A skilled professor of archeology and finder of rare things is commissioned by the United States Government to find out just what Hitler and the Nazis are looking for (the Ark of the Covenant) and then keep them from getting it. Basic idea anyway.

The series, which was made by the dynamic duo of film, Spielberg and Lucas, has the feel of the classic American, swashbuckling, adventurer who always wins in the end. Good films for the family, and they remain classics to this day. I am just pissed its taken em this long to release em on DVD.

Score = 10/10 You can't have a good good guy, without having good bad guys, and it doesn't get much badder than the Nazis.

Acting = Harrison Ford is one of Hollywood's best actors of all time. From Star Wars to Force Ten from Navarone, from Blade Runner to Witness, from The Fugitve to K-19 The Widowmaker, Ford doesn't disappoint movie-goers or movie execs. Add Denholm Elliott and John Rhys-Davies, who return in their roles in future Indiana Jones movies for some nice continuity, and you have good, solid, likeable characters. Score = 10/10

Score/Soundtrack: Two words, John Williams. He is, in my opinion, the greatest composer to have ever lived. His pieces are memorable, widely known, and quite moving. The Indiana Jones Suites do not disappoint. Score = 10/10 I think any movie with Williams as composer will get a 10.

Catch/Phrase: Hmm, can't think of one, but I can remember some great scenes including the fight with the German soldier on the bomber which leads to the soldier's choppy death, and the scene with Indy falling in the pit of snakes... man, good times. Oh, I have one... it's weak, but it's a line, "Close your eyes," Indiana admonishes as the Ark is opened by the wicked Nazi officials and leads to the painful death of all who behold God's power and wrath. Not much of a catch phrase, not much of a score. Score: 1/10

Mystique: One of the best movie series of all times. Factor into the score the fact that Harrison Ford was involved in another of Hollywood's great series, Star Wars, and that there are similar scenes found in both (Han Solo blindly charging after Storm Troopers in Episode IV, and Indiana Jones blindly charging after Indian soldiers in The Temple of Doom) and then the great swashbuckling good guy that is Indiana Jones, a fantastic score, and attractive leading ladies, with the exception of Karen Allen in Raider of the Lost Ark, and you have a great mystique. Not to mention that a 4th movie is in the works... man I am excited about that. Cold War era perhaps? Score = 10/10

Total = 41/50 or 82% Only the catch phrase was weak, and I just may have temporarily forgotten one, but I have a great one for The Temple of Doom tomorrow. Good crap this.

2003-10-10T15:47:00.000-05:00

Gods and Generals

Plot: If you are only interested in seeing historical depictions of military action for the blood, guts, suffering, and death, then Gods and Generals is certainly not for you. However, if you wish to gain a greater understanding of the men who lead, then Gods and Generals is an exemplary film to watch.

I was surprised and impressed to see that the movie was not painted with a Union bias. In fact, the greater part of the film focuses upon General Jackson and to a lesser extent General Lee and their motivation and character, although Colonel Chamberlain of the Union forces is also similarly portrayed.

The film does show large scale combat, but does so in a tasteful and thoughtful manner. Blood and gore is kept to a minimum while at the same time done in a manner that does not betray the true brutality and violent nature of war. We need not be inundated with graphic displays to know that war is horrible, and Gods and Generals demonstrates this point clearly.

Score = 10 Can't beat the truth.

Acting = I was once again amazed at the acting prowess of Stephen Lang as he portrayed General Jackson with the dignity and honor he deserves. It is hard to believe that Lang also played Ike Clanton in Tombstone. He is surely one of the most underrated actors in Hollywood today. Duvall and Daniels too are to be given praise for their fine portrayals of Lee and Chamberlain respectively. Bruce Boxleitner, Mira Sorvino, William Sanderson, and a myriad of other known actors can also be seen. Throughout the movie I was thinking, "Holy cow, that's the guy from (insert various movies here)!" Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Not bad, but not epic either. I thoroughly enjoyed the inclusion of the Bonnie Blue Flag. All in all, the score doesn't detract, but doesn't do a lot for the film either. Score = 7

Catch Phrase: Hmm, no real catch phrase here. So, instead, I will quote one of my favorite lines from Robert E. Lee, "Duty is the sublimest word in the English language." Score = 0 May not be fair to the film, but as Ben Stiller says in The Royal Tenenbaums, "Them's the rules."

Mystique: The movie did a fair job of representing Southern motivation, but could have been a tad more clear. We kind of got the idea of state's rights as being the central issue, but they needed to hammer it home. The film should have been a mini-series for TV. It was long, but not nearly long enough. This story is just better suited for TV. Score = 5

Total = 32/50 or 64% All in all, I highly recommend this film to anyone wishing to glean a greater understanding as to the motivating factors contributing to war in general and the American Civil War specifically. If you know you have a short attention span and/or a dulled intellectual interest then stay away from Gods and Generals. You might do something foolish... like learn something.

2003-10-09T11:57:00.000-05:00

Alright, I didn't give a movie review last night. Sue me. I was friggin tired.

The Good the Bad the Ugly

Plot: Clint Eastwood (the good), Lee Van Cleef (the bad), and Eli Wallach (the ugly) are all trying to find $200,000 of stolen Union gold during the middle of the Civil War. Score = 8

Acting: I love Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cleef, but Eli Wallach steals the show. Tuco is the friggin man. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: I love Ennio Morricone's soundtrack for this film. I love it so much I even bought two copies of it. I even bought the import version that has all of the extra tracks that weren't actually used in the film. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: "One bastard goes in, another bastard goes out." Did I mention that Tuco was the friggin man? Score = 9

Mystique: The best example of the spaghetti western, and a Clint Eastwood film. Anything that can be considered the prime example of a genre should get a decent mystique score. Score = 8

Total = 45/50 or 90% Its a long one, but a classic. Its got to be good if Metallica plays a clip from the film as they come out on stage. If you haven't gotten the idea yet, Tuco is the friggin man.

2003-10-07T22:21:00.000-05:00

Dead Poets Society

Plot: Robin Williams plays a literature teacher at a premiere prep school during the 1950s. He inspires his students to reach new heights of personal courage and intellectual expansion ultimately leading to the suicide of a promising student and his subsequent dismissal for "causing" the suicide. Educational bureaucracy, stifling parental control, the angst of growing up, the drive to experience new things, and ultimately loyalty are all themes analyzed in this Peter Weir cinematic masterpiece. Score = 10

Acting: Robin Williams flourishes and displays his vast thespian skill while Robert Sean Leonard, Ethan Hawke, Josh Charles, and Alexandra Powers count their blessings for being involved in such a great film. Norman Lloyd is perfect as the headmaster, and Kurtwood Smith is even better as a controlling father. It is amazing that he can be so funny in That 70s Show after seeing him be such a jerk in The Dead Poets Society. Laura Flynn Boyle also makes a brief appearance which is barely seen in the original release, but is given the light of day in the extended scenes shown on its network debut. That is one of the few negatives about this movie... the DVD stinks as those scenes are not present in any form, and no extra material is included. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Between classic masterpieces from Beethoven and Handel, and a few 50s rock songs, the soundtrack would be pretty good as is. However, the greatest elements of the score are from the moving and perfectly used Jarre compositions. One of the best scenes in this movie is the suicide scene of Leonard's character. The music is chilling, and the cinematography perfect. I can think of only one film that makes better use of original composition, and that is John Williams' Schindler's List. Score = 10

Catch Phrase: "Carpe Diem, seize the day." What makes this line even better, is that Williams pays tribute to it in Mrs. Doubtfire by saying, "Carpe Dentum, seize the teeth." Score = 9

Mystique: The premiere prep school movie. Kevin Kline's The Emperor's Club is a nauseating attempt to capture the magic that is The Dead Poets Society. Combine the fact that other movies are trying to model themselves after it, the great acting performance, the magical score, and the great line that is now frequently used in television and screen, and you get a high mystique score. Score = 8.

Total = 47/50 or 94% Still my favorite movie of all time, O Captain, my Captain.

2003-10-06T22:11:00.000-05:00

Anger Management

Plot: Adam Sandler plays a man who has anger issues, and he is lead to improve himself and his situation with the help of his psychiatrist played by Jack Nicholson. Sounds pretty straight forward but the story has a nice twist ala The Game. Score = 8

Acting: Nicholson is as versatile as they get, and he proves it again in this fantastic comedy. Sandler continues to do what he does best, and he utilizes his typical set of friends around him in the like of Jonathan Loughran,Allen Covert, and Kevin Nealon. Marisa Tomei, Luis Guzman, Kurt Fuller, Woody Harrelson, John C. Reilly, and the hilarious John Turturro round out this great cast of characters. Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: Tracks from Blondie, Jimmy Buffet, Van Halen, The Bee Gees, The Rolling Stones, Carlos Santana, Filter, The Who, and Louis Prima. Jeeze. This movie runs the gambit. Solid choices, and the additional singing of the West Side Story song by the cast throughout the movie help give this movie a high score. Score = 9

Catch Phrase: Goose Fraba... or something similar to that. Good stuff. Score = 8

Mystique: It is definitely a Sandler film. As such, most every Sandler fan will surely enjoy this film. The casual fan should also like it as its an easy going comedy. Score = 7.

Total = 42/50 or 84% One of the funniest movies of the last couple years. I highly recommend it.

2003-10-05T02:07:00.000-05:00

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

Plot: A child of prophecy is hunted to prevent him from overthrowing the merciless plots of the Evil Council. The plot is nothing great. What do you want from a movie that is just an altered kung fu movie from the seventies? Score = 5

Acting: In my opinion, Steve Oedekerk is one of the funniest men on the planet (High Strung is possibly the funniest movie ever made), but not necessarily one of the best actors. Compile that with the fact that the vast majority of the remaining actors featured in Kung Pow were filmed nearly thirty years before, and you have a mediocre acting display. Score = 5

Score/Soundtrack: An interesting mix of seventies sounds and eighties classics, and you have a solid soundtrack that interacts well with the movie. Ram Jam's Black Betty, MC Hammer's U Can't Touch This, and Sir Mix Alot's Baby Got Back are well used in the film. Black Betty is of special note, as the evil Master Pain changes his name to Betty midway through the film. Score = 8.

Catch Phrase: This movie is nothing but about 50 catch phrases. "I'm a man too you know? I go pee pee standing up." "Eenie, meanie, minie-mo. I wonder where my glove will go." "Mmmheheyeah, Betty." "He was my father my whole life." "Kwah!!" "Don't spoil it. This is good for the both of us." "Your days are over mister (an extremely effeminate voice from a huge Asian man)." "Memento." "My nipples look like milk duds." "I have a yellow liquid for your popcorn, and its non-dairy." I realize these lines don't seem like catch phrases on the surface, but I hear at least one, more probably two or three of these lines and several more like it throughout the day. These lines and the Steve Oedekerk voices that accompany it are priceless. Score = 10

Mystique: I love the idea for this film. Take a classic old Kung Fu movie, remove all audio, and replace the track with inane and ludicrous voices and lines. Awesome. I can't wait for Kung Pow 2: Tongue of Fury For its cleverness and stupid humor I give a mystique score of 10. I know some people hate this movie, but some people hate Monty Python's Holy Grail too. Besides, how many movies can you think of contain a kung fu/matrix fight scene involving a dairy cow? Score = 10.

Total = 38/50 or 76% This low score is not truly indicative of my great love of this film. Kung Pow r0x0rz!

2003-10-03T16:30:00.000-05:00

Ok, I decided to review a movie today that I didn't really like, About Schmidt.

Plot: A retired insurance man, played by Jack Nicholson, reassesses his life now that his career is over. The story is driven by his letters to Ndugu Umbo, his 'adopted' (think Sally Struthers, or in this case Angela Lansbury and something along the lines of Feed the Children) son in Africa. During these narratives Nicholson shines, and the movie is actually interesting. The remainder of the film... seemingly five hours of it, is beyond dull. Admittedly, this film will likely be more enjoyed by a retired man than anyone else, although a Nicholson fan should see it too. Score = 5, nothing real unique or new about the plot, but the letters to Ndugu are a nice touch.

Acting: All I need to say is Jack Nicholson = 10. Add to his fine performance another seasoned veteran of acting, Kathy Bates, and you are certainly insured a high score in this department. Note to anyone who will watch this film: unless you want nightmares or a shattered mind, avert your eyes when Nicholson is on the hot tub!!! No one wants to see Kathy Bates nude. I love the woman, but yikes! Score = 10

Score/Soundtrack: I can't recall a single thing about the score. Sometimes that might be considered a good thing, but in this case a good soundtrack was needed to help move this movie along and keep it more interesting. Score = 1

Catch Phrase: I am going to fudge the lines on this one a bit. There really isn't a catch phrase per se, but saying Ndugu is fun. Saying Ndugu Umbo is even more fun. Using the name Ndugu for harddrive volume names and bowlers on Dreamcast bowling games takes it to the next level. So on behalf of my pal, Ndugu Umbo, the score = 8 Long live Ndugu!

Mystique: If you are a retired male, you will likely find some common ground in this film and might enjoy it, and Nicholson fans won't be disappointed with his performance. I can't in good heart recommend the movie to anyone else, however Ndugu gives the film some karma. As such, Score = 7

Total = 31/50 or 62% There are better movies to watch.

2003-10-02T17:01:00.000-05:00

I decided I needed a standard scoring system. So, here is the setup:

Plot = ten points possible
Acting= ten points possible
Score/soundtrack = ten points possible
Catch phrase = ten points possible
Mystique = ten points possible

With this new scoring in mind, here is the break down for Donnie Darko

Plot = 10
Acting = 10
Score/Soundtrack = 9
Catch phrase = 10
Mystique = 7 (it will be a cult classic, but not everyone will watch it)
Total = 46/50 --- I was only 1% off, that aint bad

Now, Midnight Madness

Plot = 7
Acting = 6
Score/Soundtrack = 7
Catch phrase = 8
Mystique - 9
Total = 37/50 ok, so with the new system its a much lower score, but it was an eighties film, and therefore receives a 8 point bonus giving a final score of 45/50 or 90% Again only 1% off. Hehe.

2003-10-02T13:51:00.000-05:00

October 2, 1988

I didn't want to review Donnie Darko, but we just finished watching it, and the movie starts and essentially ends on the second of October. Today is the second of October. Coincidence?

I don't want to spoil the intrigue of this movie by discussing the plot elements, but I will comment on other facets of the movie. First, the acting. Jake Gyllenhall is fast becoming one of my favorite actors. I have seen about five of his movies so far, six if you count City Slickers, and I am pleased to see that the characters are all portrayed differently. That is one of the signs of a good actor in my opinion, the ability to be dynamic and versatile. There are other notable performances, but none of the other roles are as vital as Jake's. The important thing is that none of the other actors or actresses detract from the movie in any way. Noah Wyle, Drew Barrymore, Mary McDonnell, and Patrick Swayze also make appearances in the film. Quite the supporting cast really.

Now on to the soundtrack. I can't think of too many movies that have a more fitting soundtrack or a soundtrack that enhances the movie more than the soundtrack of Donnie Darko. The most moving track is the remake of the Tears for Fears song "Mad World." That song is now irrevocably linked to Donnie Darko now. As I mentioned in the post of Midnight Madness, the eighties rock, and Donnie Darko utilizes some of the great music that the eighties have to offer. To be honest, I would have liked to have heard more of the classic eighties gems, but they may not have melded as well with the theme of the movie.

Finally, the catch phrase. All of the greatest films have a good catch phrase, and Donnie Darko is no different. "Chut up!" Doesn't get much better than that. That's a line that can be used everyday in general conversation.

Final Score 91%

2003-10-02T03:01:00.000-05:00

Well, I suppose I should get right into the movie reviews, eh?

What better movie to start with than the namesake of the site, Midnight Madness?

When I think of the quintessential eighties movies, I think of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Poison Ivy, and Midnight Madness among many others. You have to realize my fondness of all things eighties may skew my perception of this film. I was born in '79, so the eighties hold a special place in my life and my heart. It's not every decade that you learn to wipe your own butt after all.

Midnight Madness was made in 1980 spawning a decade of fantastic yet unbelievable comedies. This classic pits several cliques at a college against each other in a no holds bar scavenger hunt for the only thing of worth in life... bragging rights. The spoiled rich kid clique is headed by Stephen Furst, who is perhaps best known for his roles in Animal House and Babylon 5. The other groups include the good guys, the nerdy sorority girls, and, of course, the jocks. None of the actors or actresses are that noteworthy save for Michael J. Fox's film debut as the younger nuisance of a brother to the leader of the good guys, and Pee Wee Herman's cameo as a arcade employee.

The various groups struggle with the clues that lead them to the next location in the city often stealing information from or sabotaging the other contestants. Eventually, the good guys win. Big surprise right? It wouldn't be a great movie of the eighties if that wasn't the case. Consider the creator of the event, Leon, perhaps the geekiest actor to have ever graced the silverscreen, yet he is constantly draped by two gorgeous college beauties, and seems to be the life of the party. Did I mention that eighties movies tend to be unbelievable? In addition, after a night full of chaos and destruction, the groups are aided in celebration by several dozen people including the police who seem to have no problem with their criminal behavior as long as everyone had a good time.

Lame jokes, unbelievable events, a few quality stars, and a comedic classic of the eighties is born. Perhaps the moron sidekick of the spoiled rich kid sums it up best when he so wisely says, "Fagabeefy?"

Final score 89%

2003-10-02T01:10:00.000-05:00

Well, my friend Chris suggested that I make a blog, and I had been considering it after visiting his blog, so here it is!

I really don't have much to say, so, I decided to post a movie review once a day. I named the blog after a classic movie from the 80s called Midnight Madness. While I was looking up the IMDB (Internet Movie Database) entry for the aforementioned movie, I saw that Gilbert Gottfried once hosted a show commenting on, "clips from films made over the past 40 years that are considered among the worst of their kind." I don't know what that says about me and this blog, but there you go.